Feet

I have no idea why this popped into my head. Okay, I do know, but I have no idea why I am posting about it. You would think I could write about something funny that my kids did, or the latest recipe I tried, or post about the birthday in March, school graduation, summer fun, school starting, funny things the kids say, or something relevant or enlightening in our lives. Instead, I sit and post about feet.

Go figure, I'm weird like that.

Last night at rehearsal I noticed a guy who had really big feet. They just caught my attention out of the corner of my eye. Why is it that some people have feet that are unusually large compared the rest of their body, and others have really small feet? Examples, you ask. I am 5' short and I wear a 39 European or 8-ish American. My mother is 5'5" and wears a 6 American and I think a 36 European. Correct me mom, please. My good friend and fellow shoe shopping buddy is 5'6" or so, correct me, and has feet just a touch bigger than my feet. This has recently worked out GREAT for me since I got the shoes she outgrew when her feet grew just enough that her shoes didn't fit. Pregnancy will do that to you. I had smaller feet three kids ago. Thanks for the kicks, I love them all, even if my husband thinks all but one pair are ugly. They are my feet, not his, so he can just get over it. He always does.

Some people are destined to have big feet. Maybe not destined, but you know early on that they will have flippers. Case in point, my shoe shopping buddy again. Love you, mean it. Her little boy is a few months younger than my oldest. As long as I have known that child, he has had flippers. He could put Michael Phelps to shame once he gets older, you know, in 14 years or so. We laugh about the kid's feet. It's his dad's fault. Dad had flippers too. Again, it works great for us since we get the hand-me-downs. Thanks guys, you saved our bacon again. Even her little baby girl had flippers in the ultrasound, but she seems to be growing into hers, so there is hope. Skinny feet look longer anyway.

Feet are weird too. Toes grow at odd angles. Maybe that is from all the pointy toe shoes. Cute shoes are worth it. At least until you try to wear cute sandals and then you are stuck with weird toes in cute shoes. Stick to the cute toe smashers or sandals, I guess. We need to find a solution to this problem. Really, this is a problem.

I can't stand naked toes. On girls, that is. This has made me nuts for as long as I can remember being aware of it. If you plan to wear sandals, please paint your toenails ladies. Please use a dark color, not a super light color that makes you look like you have a foot disease. Barely pastel pink does not work. Dark wine red, so totally works on toes. French pedicure, might as well be naked. Nice on fingers, not on toes. Even worse than naked toes is half-naked toes. When you are missing half or most of the polish, just take off what's left. I must admit that I prefer naked toes to half-naked toes. Sadly, I must admit guilt on both counts. I wore sandals the other day and scraped off what was left of a previous nail color on the toes that were visible. Yep, I cheated. I am ashamed. I must right my wrong. At least I admit my mistake. Please forgive me. It won't happen again. Until I forget on my way out the door and don't see the disaster on my feet until I am in the middle of the outside world. I prefer to not pick at my toes or nail polish when out in public. Don't you agree?

How else are feet weird, you ask? I shall enlighten you. They get super stinky. Did you know this? If you didn't, you must be living under a rock. Or you have no smell like my dad did. Really, he couldn't smell. My mom made him take care of all the stinky diapers. He used to walk in the house and say "Dinner smells good." Silly Daddy.

I have a horrible story about my brother's shoes when he was a kid. Long story short, his favorite dinosaur hi-top shoes had to live out on the deck. Cute shoes, really. The appendage that gets so stinky is also the one we love to have massaged and rubbed and pampered. Pedicure anyone? And yet, as much as we love that attention to our extremities, we laugh and jerk around when someone unexpectedly touches them. My grandfather used to run his finger from your heel to toe if you had your feet where he could reach. Fun memories. I miss him. I miss him making my jump out of my skin when he did that.

Summary: feet do not always match the person they are attached to; please keep your toes painted; feet are stinky; we love some foot love; all those nerve endings make for some super sensitive tootsies when it comes to tickles.

I am now going to prop up my disproportionately large feet, give myself a pedicure, and hide my feet from my husband how now likes to make me jump. And then I will put on some rockin' shoes to show off my fancy toes, even if my husband thinks the shoes are ugly.

That is all for now.