Moms are NOT Allowed to Take Showers

I attempted to take a shower this morning. Actually, with the shower, there was no attempt, I took a shower. Granted it was after feeding Michael, again, after I first tried to get in the shower. Luckily, this time, it was the second time that was a charm, not the third. However, while trying to get all the puke and snot off of me and get out the knots from my kids "fixing" my hair, and trying to clean the tub while I was in there (killing two birds with one stone) I got that feeling.

Just to make sure all was well, I put on my robe, towel on head, and went downstairs to check on Thomas and Jerry before getting dressed. MISTAKE! I should have at least gotten dressed before venturing into the unknown.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear... no, not eight tiny reindeer, those were last month (never saw them then anyway). There was a chair at the sink, with Jerry perched on top. This I could see from the bottom of the stairs. And he was eating his toothpaste, straight out of the tube. Rounding the corner into the kitchen revealed to me the next horror. A bag of pretzels, all over the floor. They were not just resting on the floor, the boys, probably Jerry more than Thomas, had done a happy dance all over them. Yes, I had tiny bits and crumbs of what used to be pretzels all over my floor. Instead of coming 'round the chimney, I was coming 'round the counter to strangle Jerry. STOP, don't fall on the WATER all over the floor. Somehow the buggers had turned on the water, flooded the top of the counter, soaked anything on the counter on both sides of the sink, and flooded the floor about 12 inches out from the sink. And let's not forget that toothpaste yet. In the process of eating it, he had squeezed it out all over the tube itself. Into the trash with that one. No patience to deal with it.

Now, get your over-active imaginations rolling. Picture me, in my robe, with towel on head, trying to clean all this up. Thomas was trying to sop up the mess before I came down, and had a towel that looked like he had just pulled it out of an unfinished cycle of the washing machine. It dripped when he picked it up. When I picked it up to squeeze out some of the pool, I barely had to try to have a stream running into the sink. Jerry was promptly sent up to his room so he couldn't "help" clean up. Next thing I hear is little Jerry feet running into my room. I scream up to him to get out of my room and into his. Thud, thud, thud go the feet again. Sound direction tells me he is heading out of my bathroom and into my room, then on to his room. SLAM the door (his new game is to slam the door repeatedly and laugh like it is the funniest thing he has ever done). That was it for me. I went running up the stairs, in my robe, towel streaming behind my head, and all but threw the kid in his bed. I didn't even give him his pacifier.

Now I sit and type and vent. Still in my robe, but the towel fell off my head. The pretzels are swept into a pile, waiting to get put into the trash. The wet towels are piled in the middle of the kitchen, waiting to go up to the washing machine. (Note to self: don't forget the laundry detergent this time, the third trip to the store) Jerry finally gave up and fell asleep, I think.

Moral of the story: Don't try to take a shower when only the baby is asleep. Wait until there is another adult present, or until at least the two youngest are asleep. You may stink all day, but your sanity will be more in tact when your friend brings her four kids over later in the afternoon.