Life is Nuts

Life is insane, as usual.

My fabulous husband went back to work Monday. Hooray for rejoining the ranks of the employed. On the down side, I am back to being the only adult around during the day. No more leaving the kids home while I go run errands. He also showed the kids the woods and creek behind the house. It is now common to have missing children, only to holler out the back door and wait for three little, very dirty hooligans to come trooping back up from the creek.

Thomas is doing well in school. He loves to read and reads to all of us often. Shocker, the kid needed glasses. One of these days we will get a picture up.

Jerry is Jerry. Less than a year until he is in school and we are all looking forward to the day.

Michael is no longer a baby. He looks so much like Jerry even I get them mixed up sometimes.

I am still teaching music and loving it. I am also doing well with Pampered Chef and loving that too. It is nice to get paid to have fun.

Currently I have two little hooligans in the back yard, still wearing their feety pajamas. Neither one wants to get dressed. I am quite enjoying the hysterical laughter coming through the open door. Love this weather! Wait, kids outside, laughter, this can't be good. Yikes, gotta run!

Have You Ever...?

Been a while, I know. Been a bit busy around our house. Trip to the beach, time with lots of family, meeting new family, more doctor appointments than I have fingers and toes, starting school again, new students, and now home enhancements.

Every day I seem to find myself saying "I never thought I would...." Most of these are directly related to the hooligans. Most have my just hanging my head or walking out of the room until I can figure out how on earth to manage this new misadventure.
Have you ever been grateful to know that rubbing alcohol quickly and easily takes pretty pictures off the bodies of three little hooligans...



We won't mention the arms, legs, belly button, bum or other unmentionable parts that were also colored.

Have you ever cleaned ice cream or sherbet off the floor. The same bedroom floor on multiple occasions?

Have you ever cleaned the stuffing from a cat costume tail out of the space where the handle of the vacuum is supposed to slide down into the vacuum for easier storage? And then also found a toothbrush in said vacuum handle storage space thing?


Have you ever walked into a bedroom only to discover that your 4 year old decided that under the window is a good place to pee? Nevermind the bathroom that is only 10 steps away.

Have you ever scraped the popcorn off your ceiling? Have you ever cut holes into your ceiling? Have you ever eaten two plates full of mac n cheese and 3 hot dogs for dinner? Have you ever had your leg fall asleep while you are writing a blog post?

What on earth does tomorrow have in store for us?

Have You Ever Wondered...

I meant to post this last night. Oh well.

Have you ever wondered what happens when your kids get up before you do?

They will help themselves to the chocolate cake that is sitting on the counter. They will eat it in the living room and get crumbs all over the carpet. They will turn on the TV and watch cartoons when they both know they are not allowed to watch TV. They may have had some grapes too.

While doing all this they will leave you alone and let you sleep until 8:30.

Let them eat cake! And then give the baby a cupcake for breakfast when he wakes up, because it is only fair.

Have you ever wondered what happens when a wet diaper gets thrown up at the ceiling?

Wonder no more. I even have pictures to answer the question.

Yes, while I was teaching and they were supposedly having naps and quiet time, the older hooligans trashed their room. They also came down and interrupted my lesson, but that is another issue. Dress ups everywhere, toy box from one end of the room to the other. And an exploded diaper all over the room. Ceiling, floor, stuck to the dresser and window, on the window sill... everywhere. Lucky for someone, who I am not exactly sure, I forgot to change the vacuum bag the day before.

I am not sure if I prefer this kind of exploded diaper or the blowout kind of exploded diaper. I do know I prefer neither.

The evidence, after toys and dress ups were already cleaned up.



Have you ever wondered what happens to hooligans like this at the end of the day?

After several time outs and dinner they were sent upstairs for bed. The house was entirely too quiet. Hooligans and silence can't be a good thing.

Maybe it can.

My fabulous husband called me upstairs when he went up to investigate. Oh dear, what have they done now?!?! I look in the room and see two sweet, not so little hooligans curled up in their bed, under the covers, snoring. Not even five minutes and they were both out cold at 6:30.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to want to strangle your hooligans and give them away one minute and just stand and watch their angelic and awe inspiring countenance the next?

Come to my house and find out. I promise, it won't be boring, and it will definitely be worth it.

Shame

My fabulous husband reminded me how terrible I am with the blog. I will now hang my head in shame. Aaaaaaaand, I'm over it. In my defense, I started a new job/business as a Pampered Chef Consultant (so much fun!), still teach and perform, volunteer at school, have busy church callings, have three crazy hooligans, and do not do mornings. My fabulous husband is still working to keep a roof over our heads, food in our ever hungry mouths, and all that other provide for your family stuff. The hooligans are all still alive and a little older. Thomas is 7, Jerry is 4, and Michael talks! We have a bunch more miles on the mom mobile, as in over 6000 miles in 2 weeks, what an adventure. We are all plugging along and making the best of what we've got. If I'm a good girl I will get more stories and details and disasters up soon. I never really was a good girl though, so don't hold your breath too long.

That Time of Year

It is that time of year. Sorry folks. I am meeting myself coming and going. I have no idea what day it is half the time. The world would come to a screeching halt if I didn't have my calendar. Sleep is elusive. My cell phone is about the only way to catch me, and even then only when we are between points A and B. Between rehearsals and performances, the life of a musician is a bit busy. Add to that the busy life of a mom of 3 boys and things get really interesting.

Thanksgiving was great. Concerts went well. Solos were fun. House is a mess. Meals are interesting and last minute. Hot dogs, cheese roll ups, PB, and cereal are staples of our diet. We live in the mom-mobile. Just a couple more weeks and life slows down. On the bright side, Christmas is done around here. The list was made a while ago, and all is done and waiting now. GO ME!! Now I need to go take out the last batch of mini bread loaves that will be teacher gifts in a few days. Yes, baking at midnight, the way things are right now. My bed misses me.

See you when the musician's busy season is over.

What to Write?

I am trying to post every day. Sometimes that is much easier said than done. Yes, I have past posts to get on here still, but I just shut down my computer that has the pictures on it.

Today...

I tried to do something fun for the kids for lunch. I cut up fun stuff like apples and bananas and cheese and hot dogs. I put it all into a muffin pan. In theory, the kids would think it was fun and exciting. In reality, they ate most of it. They put ketchup on apples, cheese on bananas, and all sorts of odd and gross combinations. Then they started launching it across the kitchen. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

On a fun note, I have a double jogger. I inherited it and can't wait to try it out. Maybe I can even get back into running again. When I put Jerry in it and asked if he liked it, he said NO. Tough turkey kid, you have to ride in it anyway.

Thomas had Flat Stanley for school over fall break. I'll explain later. We got fun pictures of Stanley doing various activities and Lolly even took him on a road trip. I sent the pictures to Target to get them printed and my fabulous husband was going to pick them up. When he went to get them, they were nowhere to be found. Turns out the online hosting site is having issues. Sorry Thomas, you have to wait 24-48 hours to get your pictures.

Happy Monday!

Call Me Alexander

Alexander had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Call me Alexander, or Alexandra if you will.

I finally slept pretty well last night. Until the alarm went off. Then a kid got up. Then I tried to go back to bed and snuggle with him. He didn't sit still, he didn't keep quiet, he didn't let me sleep. I nodded off a bit, then the phone rang. Forget it. I give up. Some days are just meant to be rough.

We went downstairs and had breakfast without major incident. The hooligans made a mess and didn't clean it up. I put them in their room so I could take a shower before we ventured out into the world.

Shower was great. I got dressed in my jeans that make me feel good, my rockin' Danskos that my fabulous husband surprised me with several months ago, and even dried my hair and brushed my teeth.

As I was going to the hooligan containment unit, I heard Thomas yelling "MOM, Jerry drew on the wall!"

GREAT! I just love when my kids draw on the walls with utensils that shouldn't be in their rooms. What fascinating surprise will I find this time?

The picture does not do the shark justice. The shark that Jerry supposedly drew is probably 7 feet long. From the door to the closet is shark. Purple shark. Jerry can't draw a stick figure. At this point, I draw better than Jerry, and that says a lot.

"Thomas, let's try this again. And this time, you will tell me the truth."

"I did it," came the pitiful wail.

Sorry bud, no sympathy here.

Then, I turn around to see this little guy on another wall.

Nice. He is kinda cute, though.

I turn to walk out the door while trying to not throw children out the door or sprout 3 heads and scream like a banshee. I see this master work of art on another wall.

LIVID! That doesn't even begin to describe me this morning.

Then, we head over for the previously blogged about Wal-mart trip.

This day really stinks. Big time.

I go to post Michael's birthday pictures and discover my memory card is missing. The living room is still a mess that the hooligans were supposed to take care of.

Time to teach a voice lesson. Send the hooligans to their room. Michael goes down for his nap like a little angel.

Near the end of the lesson Thomas brings me a bag and says "Jerry ate these."

I keep a bag of goodies in my purse. A handful of skittles, starburst, Hersey's kisses. It comes in handy when I need to bribe, I mean reward, my kids.

No rewards today. They had taken my purse up to their room. They ate almost all the goodies in my purse. They found fruit snacks in my purse that I keep for while we are sitting in the carpool line. Thomas took my chapstick, my good chapstick, and tried to clean the crayon off the walls.

I have no magic erasers because I used them all last week and ran out after cleaning the last disaster on the wall, thank you Michael. I have no magic erasers because Wal-mart really messed up my day and I didn't make it to Target to get the great deals on them that my coupons expire today.

Dinner is in the crock pot and will likely burn or not be cooked all the way. That is just what I predict. There is also probably a bill for $34,239,340.17 in my mailbox waiting for me. And I bet my phone will ring to tell me someone died and my fabulous husband was in a wreck and has lost his job. And I probably have an inoperable brain tumor and will need to have my left big toe amputated. And my ears will fall off and my teeth will rot out in my sleep. It is just one of those days.

I quite. I'm done. I am going to bed and not coming out until you can guarantee me it will be a better day.

Anybody want any kids? They are cute and loving and give great hugs. They have blue eyes and blond hair that will melt your heart. They are adventurous and creative. They are problem solvers and will keep you entertained. Both are potty trained and can scavenge their own food.

Hello, my name is Alexandra. I am having a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

I will no go drink a Dr. Pepper and eat junk food.

It Should Have Been Easy

This should have been easy.

Mission: Go to Wal-mart for leftover Sunday newspapers.

What actually happened:

I called ahead to verify that they had the papers. "Yes, we do. They are usually here all week." Perfect! After a shower and a disaster, more on that one to come, we headed out to the store. Me and all three hooligans. Easy is relative.

Park, head inside. No cart necessary, this will be quick. Kids, hold hands. Stay close.

Grab 2 papers, head to check out. Discover that the papers are today, not Sunday. Check out girl says go get the Sunday papers and we will exchange it. Great. No problem. Slight inconvenience, but easy fix.

No papers. Anywhere. I must be blind, they said they are here.

Go back to customer service, which is falsely called such. More like customer headache. Nope, papers have been gone since Sunday night.

Get refund.

Not quite.

I had left my change there with the papers and the clerk because I was coming right back. Clerk refunds me the price of the papers, but puts my previous change back in her drawer. I tell her I should have $3 returned, not $2.42 that she gave me. She tried for all she was worth to convince me that she was right and it all worked out. "My drawer will be short," she says. I try to recount what happened... I gave you $3, you set the change on the papers I was going to exchange, when I returned you put my change from on top of the papers (which I should have just put in my pocket, but was too set on getting the papers) into the drawer, then you refunded me the cost of the papers. I gave you $3, so I should leave with $3. She got irritated and called to have her drawer counted because she was so sure she was going to have her drawer be short.

As this entire saga goes on, the hooligans are losing it. Sitting still, not gonna happen. Sit on the bench, not gonna happen. Keep your hands to yourself, not gonna happen. Everyone around us getting irritated, so gonna happen.

Stress level, continually rising. Anxiety level, not far behind. Irritation level, on the rise. However, in spite of this, I was very nice and polite to the cashier. I was calm and patient and tried to be as kind and understanding and logical as possible.

Cashier grumbles about annoying people who won't let things go when there is a long line. Manager sends her to go work on another register so manager can count. Manager cuts me off when I try to explain to save time and headaches. Another clerk comes and asks if she can help. Manager says she can't run a register, but she can count this one. New clerk was happy to help. New clerk continues to count register and asks me what the amount is and what happened. "I would have just given you the change. Here you go."

Thank you. On my way out.

No time to run to Target. Wal-mart took 72.8 times longer than it should have. Now I have to find some other window of time to make that trip. And the CVS trip. Please, no kids this time. Wishful thinking.

Moral: Nothing is easy, especially with kids.

Secondary moral: Far too many people are lacking in common sense and simple math skills.

Other Secondary moral: Nobody likes to be wrong, even if it is painfully obvious.

What you should know about me: If I am right, I will fight to prove that I am right. I will not give up just to give up if I am absolutely certain I am right. You will not cheat me out of money when I know I am right. I do not like Wal-mart, but they have great deals that keep me coming back, in spite of my distaste for the store. Tight budget means cheap shopping. The store I went to is one of my least favorite locations, but it was the only one with a working phone number where someone answered. Newer locations tend to have people with more common sense, at least in my experience.

Anybody have Sunday ads they want to donate to my coupon binder? I could really use a couple more Tide coupons for the CVS sale this week.

Shorten the Alphabet

My alphabet consists of 25 letters. I know, yours has 26, but mine is one short. Thanks to a little hooligan, I am missing a letter on my keyboard. What ever makes a hooligan think that using a mini screwdriver to pry off a letter is a good idea? After re-attaching several times, it gave up. For a while I could push really hard and get the sensor to work, but now, there is no hope.

The alphabet ends at Y.

That missing letter makes for some interesting scenarios. Words just don't have the same meaning when you use an S instead. Have you ever seen a sebra? Do you find it amasing how much damage three little hooligans can do in 7 seconds flat? Do you have a sister-in-law that you try to call one name and end up calling her a floosie? In that context, floosie sounds better, I think. (It was a joke, really, she is nothing even close. She couldn't be one even if she tried.) I can't tell you to examine your sipper. Oh my, how that meaning changed!

Why don't I just hook up a new keyboard, you ask? Right now, I have a laptop with a broken screen hooked up to the screen of the desktop because the desktop internet doesn't work. Two computers makes one. The hooligans killed the desktop keyboard and the extra keyboard. The same key-prying hooligan also pried off the buttons on my mouse. Two mice. My computer situation is pretty pathetic, but I make do. I am still able to post entertaining stories for my audience that keeps asking for more.

Now, when my words look funny and you think I misspelled the word, remember how my children helped me along this path of insanity. I hope you have an amasing day with many crasy adventures along the way.

My two little hooligans are in the bathroom laughing. I must go investigate. Patience at the ready. More laughter.... now running.

Lighten Up

I know you are totally jealous of me. You should be. Now, to enlighten you as to why you are jealous of me, yet again.

I have under-counter lighting. My kitchen is so bright and happy and cheerful. My counters are clean, for now. My stove top is clean, for now. The hooligans are smiling and oh so excited to be in a picture. Everything is put away and neat. At least so far as you can see. There is a reason the picture is of part of my kitchen and not the entire kitchen. Must keep disasters out of sight. If I don't post it, it must not exist.

Yes, my husband is fabulous. He is crafty. He is handy.

I think I will keep him.

I will loan him out, for a fee.

Now wipe that drool off your chin and come visit us in my nice, bright, lit-up kitchen. I'm baking, again. Molten lava cakes and chocolate cookies with mini Reese's Pieces. Yummy.

Please pardon the Chick-fil-A sandwich wrapper in the background. Today was yet another free food day. Wear your team logo and get a free sandwich. Two rounds in the restaurant and one round of drive-thru window. Free CFA, we're so there.

Frick and Frack

My little hooligans are full of fun and adventure. Maybe not always the kind of adventure that parents love, but they have a grand time in the moment. Now that Thomas is back in school, Jerry and Michael have lots and lots of hours of time, just the two of them. They are pretty much conjoined in their escapades. They can be the best of buddies and a disastrous or dangerous team. This morning they dumped out all the toy bins all over the downstairs. They ran around chasing each other and laughing hysterically. They hide under the blankets and find themselves quite amusing when they pop out or ask me to find them. Whatever Jerry does, Michael is sure to follow suit and copy him. If Jerry climbs on top of a bucket, Michael is next. It also goes the other way. Michael started dumping all the diapers out of the bucket, so Jerry had to get in on the fun. It is so much fun to watch and listen to them play together. They really are great buddies. However, they are still brothers too. We have many battles over the same toys. Both seem to want mommy time at the same time. They are really learning to beat the daylights out of each other when they get mad. Note to self, need to work on that one.

I am so glad my hooligans have such a fun time together. As much as they both make me nuts, it always puts a smile on my face to hear them playing and laughing and enjoying being together.

And now they are racing up and down the hallway while roaring at each other. And now one is pushing the shopping cart while the other rides the motorcycle in circles through the house. I need some earplugs.

Cows!

Introducing, Our Herd


Yesterday was Cow Appreciation Day at Chick-fil-A. What does this mean, you ask. FREE FOOD!!! All you had to do was dress like a cow and you got a free meal. Just a little bit cow still got you an entree, so you can't lose. Thursday we made our costumes and the kids had a blast making cow faces on paper plates. We used the plates for breakfast and lunch, but at lunch we got these cool cow hats, so we used them at dinner. You read right, we ate out for all 3 meals yesterday, and only paid $0.32 for the entire thing. I know, it was a free meal, but someone, Jerry, decided he wanted fruit instead of fries at lunch, so we had to pay the upcharge. We had lots of fun and entertained ourselves for many hours. Now we have spots ready for next year.
Isn't he the cutest cow you have ever seen?
The other two adorable hooligans, enjoying their third feast of the day.

Lame

Thomas asked daddy for snack. Daddy told Thomas to ask mama. Thomas asked me, I said I changed my name. Daddy asked what I changed my name to.... I just looked at him with "that look" and didn't answer.

Daddy says we should change Thomas's name. We should change it to "Cindy." I say it should be "Grumpy." Daddy says "How about Grumpy Cindy?" Thomas rolled over on the couch so he couldn't see either of us.

Daddy asks Thomas if we can call him Grumpy Cindy. Thomas says no, again. Daddy asks why not? Thomas says:

THAT'S LAME

Much laughter and disbelief ensue. Just to clarify, we asked him to repeat. Yup, he said it's lame. More laughter and the obvious statement that this incident is definitely blog-worthy.

Oh well, he's Grumpy Cindy until he isn't grumpy anymore. Maybe snack will make him less grumpy. What do you think, Aunt Amanda?

Today

Today is Tyler's birthday. He's old.

This morning I was making his lunch and breakfast. He came downstairs and started laughing. I had my shirt on backwards. Painfully, obviously, backwards. It is a shirt from one of my races and has all the sponsors on the back, well, front this morning.

I am making a German Chocolate Cake. It is his favorite. I have never even attempted one. I am not using a box or can frosting. I can't stand coconut.

All the kids are home now. It is summer break. Kids are thrilled, parents not so much.

I made sourdough bread this morning. Right now it is just dough, and it has to rise for 12 hours, then another 12 hours. We'll have yummy warm bread for breakfast tomorrow.

Tomorrow is another day.

NOT so impressive

Here I was, basking in the impressiveness of myself as stated by good friends, when karma or something like it came and bit me in the rear. Shall we begin the tale?

I am not a morning person. Don't test this statement, just take it as truth. If you are a testing kind of person, I suggest you do research by contacting those who experience me in the mornings, rather than testing me. Family and friends have plenty of horror stories to share, I am sure. However, as much as I am not a morning person, I am a devoted and caring wife. Need proof? I get up every stinkin' morning, sometimes before the sun is up, even when it is cold or snowing or raining, even after kids were up sick all night, and make lunch and breakfast for my fabulous, hard-working husband. Yes, I am that nice.

I can't quite remember how the conversation started the other night, but it eventually came around to meals over the last few days. Tyler has had some issues getting out the door this week, including a dead battery on his work truck. Usually he is the one who puts all the goodies together on his bacon, egg, and cheese English muffin. Obviously, the truck battery took some time, so I put the sandwich together. Sort of. I forgot the top. OOPS. Turns out he discovered the missing sandwich top when he unwrapped his breakfast as he was about to pull out of the driveway. He says he almost called me to bring the top out, but decided it might be better to just leave me alone. This was probably a smart choice, seeing as I might have just stood at the door and chucked it at him, or maybe just told him in a not so nice way to come in and get it himself if he really wanted it. Yeah, best to just leave that one alone. "Thanks for breakfast, dear. Can't wait to see if breakfast is topless again tomorrow."

Not only did I mess up his breakfast, the day before I forgot to put granola bars in his lunch box. Drinks, check; sandwich, check; water, check; ice packs, check; brownies, check. On the day of the missing muffin top he was sure there would also be missing chewy sweetness, but I at least got that part right.

I had also made brownies this week. Yummy and chewy. I like the insides, he likes the outsides. We make a great brownie eating team. When Tyler got home from work the other day, though, he saw something he wasn't expecting. I had cut around the pan, leaving all the edges for him. What does he see? Half a pan of brownies, sort of, with a ring around them and part of the insides gone. Should have taken a picture of the pan and his face... that was a bit humorous too.

Needless to say, we got a serious laugh out of it all. I cried I laughed so hard. Not only was the entire situation funny, but my wonderful husband didn't plan on telling me about my mistakes with his breakfast and lunch. He must like me or something. Oh well, at least I tried. It's the thought that counts, right? And there were brownies to make it all better.

Gentlemen Prefer Blonds?

Do men really prefer blonds? I think we found the answer in our house. Well, sort of.

Last night I made Blondies. You don't know what blondies are?!?!? Shame on you. They are cookie bars or brownie type yummies made with brown sugar instead of white sugar. Oh, they are so good. I might even post my recipe later, if you ask nicely.

Back to the story. So Tyler asked me what I was cooking this time. I have been in a very munchy sweets garbage food mood lately (no bake cookies, oatmeal cookies, brownies, ice cream). No, I am not pregnant, before you start rumors.

Back to the story, again. Tyler asked what I was baking and I told him "blondies." He asked me again, and again I said "blondies, you like them." To which he replied, "I don't like blondies, I like brunetties!" *GROAN* I then asked if I should make regular brownies next, since he likes brunetties better. Sure, why not. Maybe I'll even put reddish frosting on them for some fake coloring...

I guess we all know now what he prefers, that is if we weren't clear on that before.

BTW, spell check went nuts with this post. For some reason it doesn't like blondies or brunetties. Must be diabetic.

Sunday Sillies

We have had lots of funnies around here, so I thought I would share and make you smile too.

The sun was shining really bright through the kitchen windows.
"Mommy, turn off the lights," says Jerry.
"That's not the lights, that's the sunshine. We can't turn the sunshine off," I reply.
"We can't turn off the sunshine?!?!" he says as incredulously and shocked as a 3 year old can.

Michael will not sleep with socks on. Not even an option, no socks at all. When you put him in bed, he will stick his feet up in the air until you take off his shoes and socks. Then, once they are off, he will put his feet down and go to sleep.

In the car tonight, and a couple weeks ago, the kids were singing. I was so proud my kids knew the primary song "Follow the Prophet." That is until I couldn't keep my laughter to myself once I realized what they were singing. Instead of "Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet don't go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet, he knows the way," the hooligans were singing "Follow the prophet... don't go away" over and over again. Ah, so funny. Just ask Aunt Amanda about some of her goodies with messing up the lyrics. That one could have you laughing for hours.

We went to see my grandmother for Mother's Day. It is about 3 hours there, and we do it all in one day. We had some fun conversations throughout the trip. Aunt Amanda said she didn't want to drive back home (she is not a fan of driving and never has been). She invited Jerry to come home with her and play and asked Jerry if he wanted to drive her home. We laughed because of all the hooligans, Jerry is the one who would try and drive someone's car well before he reaches the legal driving age. We went on laughing about how he would reach the pedals and all the places he would go. Well, he was a bit tired and fell asleep. He woke up as we were dropping Aunt Amanda off. OK, he didn't really wake up, just sort of came out of unconsciousness enough to respond to her. He sort of rolled his head up, half opened his eyes, and said "I need to drive your car," then his head rolled back down and went back to sleep. Oh, Jerry, what trouble you have in store for us.

Another day, we were near Lolly's work and stopped in to say hi. She came out and said hi and brought animal crackers for the two little hooligans. Jerry asked Lolly to stay and she told him she had to go back to work. "Work?!?!" he says, with his head cocked to the side and his eyebrows raised (you have got to see this kid's facial expressions), almost in disbelief. Lolly offered to trade with him and said he could go to work and she would go home with me. I laughed and told him he would get to play with all the things he isn't allowed to use at home like the stapler, hole punch and scissors. If that doesn't get a 3 year old excited about going to work, I don't know what will. For days now, he has been telling me he needs to go to work and use scissors. I think I need to hide all of ours in the safe, or who knows what he will cut up all in the name of "work."

Finally, tonight's funny. Thomas was doing something in the back seat. I told him to stop and he asked "How did you know it was me?" Tyler said "Because Mommy is a secret agent. She has eyes everywhere, only a lot less funding." Ah, the things I could do with the resources of a secret agent. Perhaps a new career is in my future....

Smile, there is silliness all around. All you have to do is look for it.

Laughter for Lunch

I am sitting here paying bills on the computer and doing the email thing while the hooligans, Jerry and Michael, eat lunch. They have the usual PB and honey sandwich and milk or juice to drink. Yeah, we go all out for meals around here. The little clones are having the best time today, though. They are both laughing hysterically, and both have that deep belly laugh and they laugh with their entire face and body. Jerry says "Michael is so funny," and they both crack up. Then milk starts to dribble out Michael's mouth because he is laughing so hard and the laughter just grows. Jerry also has learned that if you close your eyes at Michael, he will do it back with this funny look on his face. (More on that one to come, with pictures, even.) Who would have thought that eating lunch could be so much fun and make you laugh so much. Moments like this make what I do so much fun and worth all the mess that comes with the job. As often as I want to strangle one or more of them, these moments of spontaneous joy are far more frequent. Life is far from boring around here, and it is also far from miserable. Sure, we have bumps and frustrations and bad days, but who doesn't. I am so lucky to have my insane, happy, healthy, loving little boys. Thanks little hooligans for making me smile.

UPDATE: They are now smearing PB around and Michael is growling at his try. Jerry is even starting to have a hard time breathing from laughing so hard. Add some squeals of laughter and delight to the mix and you have one entertaining lunch.

Hungry?

Sorry folks, no pictures this time.

If you listen to my kids, you would think they are starving and never get fed. If you hang around my house, you soon realize that I am in serious trouble once we hit the teenage years.

These boys eat. A lot. Often. Strange things.

Michael, for example. Michael seems to have some odd deficiencies in his diet. Namely, rubber, chalk, and wax. The funny little baby will eat shoe soles. He takes his shoes off in the car in order to eat them. At Christmas, he was thrilled with cousin Adam's new bike. He walked right over and started gnawing away. I think we found a new use for used tires. And no, he is not teething. He also loves chalk. We have a bucket of sidewalk chalk in the garage. Any time the door opens, he makes a run for the garage and starts chomping chunks off. Crayons hide very high up in our house too. Not just to keep them off walls or out of the dryer, but to keep them out of diapers. Let's just say it looks like a confetti bomb went off with many diaper changes. He also likes to eat pencils and erasers and wipes. Strange kid.

Jerry must have a paint deficiency. The other night he bit the widow sil and peeled the paint off. What on earth posses this child to do these things? He also scales the pantry shelves. The other day he climbed up to the top shelf, (above my head, mind you) opened up a box of hidden goodies, snuck a cupcake, and hid in the dining room. I heard plastic crinkle and investigated and found the happy boy. He sneaks cookies, granola bars, bread, animal crackers, cheese slices, and anything else he can find (leftover lemon pepper chicken from dinner last night as I type this). He even climbed on top of the fridge (while the sitter was here too) to get cereal. Yesterday, he bit off the end of a banana, peel and all. The other night, while I was upstairs getting Michael's jammas, he scaled the fridge, got a Diet Dr. Pepper of the top shelf, cracked it open, and started drinking it. (at least he took daddy's diet and not mommy's real stuff!) We have to keep the fridge and pantry locked to keep him out. Thomas sneaks treats too, but not as often.

Thomas eats, says he is full, then cries from starvation within an hour. How on earth a child can eat 6 chicken nuggets, veggies, a glass of milk and then want the same thing again so soon after is incredible to me. At dinner last Sunday, he ate 3 tacos, then dessert. It makes me hurt just to think about it. At least he eats a good variety of food. In the strange department, though, he likes BBQ sauce on his broccoli. Where on earth he came up with that one? I think the mac n cheese with ketchup is nasty, but the BBQ broccoli wins, hands down.

We also go through about 6 gallons of milk a week. I think I need to start saving now for groceries when they get older. I am in serious trouble. Maybe we will buy a cow. It has to be cheaper to feed the cow and make our own cheese and milk than to keep buying the insane amounts of dairy products they consume. Now accepting donations for future grocery purchases.

Gone Fishing

A couple months ago we had an interesting experience around here. The last time I went fishing, a catfish swam off with my fishing pole and my dad went swimming after the fish and pole. Needless to say, fishing is not on my list of fun things to do. This time, I went fishing in a different fashion.

I believe I mentioned a while ago that the boys put a hole in the wall. Well, that hole grew. It grew and it grew and it grew. It grew until it was a giant cavity in the face of the wall. Tyler patched the hole when it was relatively small. We were gone for the day, so he had a great opportunity to fix the mess, which he did. Unfortunately, the boys decided they liked the hole there and pushed the patch through and into the wall. They then proceeded to make the hole bigger. They also decided there are lots of fun things you can do with holes in the wall. There are so many fun things you can do, they decided they needed another hole to go with the original one.

And so our story begins.

Some of the weapons of choice... plastic knives. They also used a toy saw, pencils, and anything else they could think of. You can also see the nice patch work they pushed back through.The damage. Well, one of them. Tyler ended up cutting out the wall. You can see the other pieces in the background. In the end, a 2x4 was put in the wall behind the door knob to add some extra support. If they break through that one, we have some serious problems on our hands.

Now for the fun stuff, the loot!

I first sent fishing in the wall to get a turtle shell out of the wall. Something is definitely not right when the turtle shell is at the level of the door knob, yet inside the wall. That thing wasn't floating, there was plenty of stuff underneath to hold it up. Toilet paper, snuggle blanket (the original reason for going into the hole in the first place), and that was just with my hands. I could see more, so I went and got Tyler's little grabby tool thingie. Yes, that is the technical term for it, now leave me alone. A little flashlight and mirror became my buddies for the next little while. I pulled out a stuffed dog, another stuffed dog, several little people, little people cars, Thomas's belt that disappeared during Christmas break, hippo, sensory blocks, regular blocks, Clara Thomas train, snake, toy screwdriver, and other stuff I don't remember. I had my arm in the hole up to my elbow. I was covered in sheetrock dust.

On to the next hole in the wall to see what we could find. More Thomas trains, little soap crayon bathtub things, Thomas train canopy, insulation (oops), and... drumroll please... a lizard. Picture this... you are pulling things out of the wall, out of the hole comes a lizard head. Sudden shock and surprise, until you realize that the reason this head is coming out because you are pulling it out. You may now start laughing at yourself.

After an hour of fishing and killing the flashlight battery, I quit. I was frustrated, irritated, amazed, and dirty.

Fast forward. Tyler cuts out wall to fix the mess. I told him to put the loot into a box so I could see what actually came out that I couldn't reach. Here ya go, piled into a diaper box.

So, what was I unable to get out with my tool and patience?
11 blocks
7 little people
2 knives (hide the evidence)
2 train tracks
large water from Rescue Heroes fire truck
small water from mini version of Rescue Heroes fire truck
pacifier leash
2 train signs
toy wrench (wondered where that went)
2 nuts, the tool kind
1 bolt
car
fireman
blocks
magnet "z"
and of course, the original snuggle blanket that started it all

So, next time your kid's toys go missing... check in the wall. It's like finding a buried treasure.