NOT so impressive

Here I was, basking in the impressiveness of myself as stated by good friends, when karma or something like it came and bit me in the rear. Shall we begin the tale?

I am not a morning person. Don't test this statement, just take it as truth. If you are a testing kind of person, I suggest you do research by contacting those who experience me in the mornings, rather than testing me. Family and friends have plenty of horror stories to share, I am sure. However, as much as I am not a morning person, I am a devoted and caring wife. Need proof? I get up every stinkin' morning, sometimes before the sun is up, even when it is cold or snowing or raining, even after kids were up sick all night, and make lunch and breakfast for my fabulous, hard-working husband. Yes, I am that nice.

I can't quite remember how the conversation started the other night, but it eventually came around to meals over the last few days. Tyler has had some issues getting out the door this week, including a dead battery on his work truck. Usually he is the one who puts all the goodies together on his bacon, egg, and cheese English muffin. Obviously, the truck battery took some time, so I put the sandwich together. Sort of. I forgot the top. OOPS. Turns out he discovered the missing sandwich top when he unwrapped his breakfast as he was about to pull out of the driveway. He says he almost called me to bring the top out, but decided it might be better to just leave me alone. This was probably a smart choice, seeing as I might have just stood at the door and chucked it at him, or maybe just told him in a not so nice way to come in and get it himself if he really wanted it. Yeah, best to just leave that one alone. "Thanks for breakfast, dear. Can't wait to see if breakfast is topless again tomorrow."

Not only did I mess up his breakfast, the day before I forgot to put granola bars in his lunch box. Drinks, check; sandwich, check; water, check; ice packs, check; brownies, check. On the day of the missing muffin top he was sure there would also be missing chewy sweetness, but I at least got that part right.

I had also made brownies this week. Yummy and chewy. I like the insides, he likes the outsides. We make a great brownie eating team. When Tyler got home from work the other day, though, he saw something he wasn't expecting. I had cut around the pan, leaving all the edges for him. What does he see? Half a pan of brownies, sort of, with a ring around them and part of the insides gone. Should have taken a picture of the pan and his face... that was a bit humorous too.

Needless to say, we got a serious laugh out of it all. I cried I laughed so hard. Not only was the entire situation funny, but my wonderful husband didn't plan on telling me about my mistakes with his breakfast and lunch. He must like me or something. Oh well, at least I tried. It's the thought that counts, right? And there were brownies to make it all better.

Impressive!

I have lots of friends, but only a small handful that fall into the category of "I can call you at 4am to bail me out of jail, clean me up, and then ask you to give me one of your kidneys." I hold these people very close to my heart. Unfortunately, most of them are too far away to bail me out. Lucky for me, one is moving back down this way. *happy dance* (now the rest of you can start making moving plans, now, right now, please) Even better, we got to meet for lunch... with all the hooligans too, well, all but Thomas who was in school. Have I ever mentioned that I love Cracker Barrel? We laughed at the menu's "low car" offerings. Sure, the 1/2 pound bacon cheeseburger is low carb, so it must be health?!?! Whatever. You don't go to Cracker Barrel to eat low carb, dimwit.

My dear friend has a new baby that I have been itching to get hold of. She is a teeny tiny little 3 months and weighs maybe 10 pounds. I was holding her and having a grand time. Then food came. Jerry had pancakes. While holding her, I spread the butter, cut the yummy goodness, and opened and poured the syrup. Michael was on my other side, and I kept reaching into the diaper bag for granola bars and lots of fruit snacks to feed him. Oh yeah, and keep retrieving the little golf tees from the game on the table that Michael kept launching all over. Still holding the sweet little baby girl. Then my phone rang. "Hey Tyler, whatcha need?" I think I was eating some here and there too.

Both my friend and her husband looked over at me and kept offering to take the little girl. I told them I was fine and for them to enjoy eating their food without having to take care of her for a few minutes. The husband looked at his wife and said "How does she do that?" to which she replied "She's been through 3 kids already. She's had practice at this." He just sort of looked at me and said something along the lines of "impressive."

Yup, that's me... Ms. Impressive... I can hold a baby, fix and cut a pancake, find and open and serve fruit snacks, fetch falling and flying objects, talk on the phone, keep kids relatively happy, carry on a conversation with two other adults and two other children, and eat my own food.

Thanks for lunch and the company, guys. Can't wait to do it again!

Gentlemen Prefer Blonds?

Do men really prefer blonds? I think we found the answer in our house. Well, sort of.

Last night I made Blondies. You don't know what blondies are?!?!? Shame on you. They are cookie bars or brownie type yummies made with brown sugar instead of white sugar. Oh, they are so good. I might even post my recipe later, if you ask nicely.

Back to the story. So Tyler asked me what I was cooking this time. I have been in a very munchy sweets garbage food mood lately (no bake cookies, oatmeal cookies, brownies, ice cream). No, I am not pregnant, before you start rumors.

Back to the story, again. Tyler asked what I was baking and I told him "blondies." He asked me again, and again I said "blondies, you like them." To which he replied, "I don't like blondies, I like brunetties!" *GROAN* I then asked if I should make regular brownies next, since he likes brunetties better. Sure, why not. Maybe I'll even put reddish frosting on them for some fake coloring...

I guess we all know now what he prefers, that is if we weren't clear on that before.

BTW, spell check went nuts with this post. For some reason it doesn't like blondies or brunetties. Must be diabetic.

Sunday Sillies

We have had lots of funnies around here, so I thought I would share and make you smile too.

The sun was shining really bright through the kitchen windows.
"Mommy, turn off the lights," says Jerry.
"That's not the lights, that's the sunshine. We can't turn the sunshine off," I reply.
"We can't turn off the sunshine?!?!" he says as incredulously and shocked as a 3 year old can.

Michael will not sleep with socks on. Not even an option, no socks at all. When you put him in bed, he will stick his feet up in the air until you take off his shoes and socks. Then, once they are off, he will put his feet down and go to sleep.

In the car tonight, and a couple weeks ago, the kids were singing. I was so proud my kids knew the primary song "Follow the Prophet." That is until I couldn't keep my laughter to myself once I realized what they were singing. Instead of "Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet don't go astray. Follow the prophet, follow the prophet, follow the prophet, he knows the way," the hooligans were singing "Follow the prophet... don't go away" over and over again. Ah, so funny. Just ask Aunt Amanda about some of her goodies with messing up the lyrics. That one could have you laughing for hours.

We went to see my grandmother for Mother's Day. It is about 3 hours there, and we do it all in one day. We had some fun conversations throughout the trip. Aunt Amanda said she didn't want to drive back home (she is not a fan of driving and never has been). She invited Jerry to come home with her and play and asked Jerry if he wanted to drive her home. We laughed because of all the hooligans, Jerry is the one who would try and drive someone's car well before he reaches the legal driving age. We went on laughing about how he would reach the pedals and all the places he would go. Well, he was a bit tired and fell asleep. He woke up as we were dropping Aunt Amanda off. OK, he didn't really wake up, just sort of came out of unconsciousness enough to respond to her. He sort of rolled his head up, half opened his eyes, and said "I need to drive your car," then his head rolled back down and went back to sleep. Oh, Jerry, what trouble you have in store for us.

Another day, we were near Lolly's work and stopped in to say hi. She came out and said hi and brought animal crackers for the two little hooligans. Jerry asked Lolly to stay and she told him she had to go back to work. "Work?!?!" he says, with his head cocked to the side and his eyebrows raised (you have got to see this kid's facial expressions), almost in disbelief. Lolly offered to trade with him and said he could go to work and she would go home with me. I laughed and told him he would get to play with all the things he isn't allowed to use at home like the stapler, hole punch and scissors. If that doesn't get a 3 year old excited about going to work, I don't know what will. For days now, he has been telling me he needs to go to work and use scissors. I think I need to hide all of ours in the safe, or who knows what he will cut up all in the name of "work."

Finally, tonight's funny. Thomas was doing something in the back seat. I told him to stop and he asked "How did you know it was me?" Tyler said "Because Mommy is a secret agent. She has eyes everywhere, only a lot less funding." Ah, the things I could do with the resources of a secret agent. Perhaps a new career is in my future....

Smile, there is silliness all around. All you have to do is look for it.

Laughter for Lunch

I am sitting here paying bills on the computer and doing the email thing while the hooligans, Jerry and Michael, eat lunch. They have the usual PB and honey sandwich and milk or juice to drink. Yeah, we go all out for meals around here. The little clones are having the best time today, though. They are both laughing hysterically, and both have that deep belly laugh and they laugh with their entire face and body. Jerry says "Michael is so funny," and they both crack up. Then milk starts to dribble out Michael's mouth because he is laughing so hard and the laughter just grows. Jerry also has learned that if you close your eyes at Michael, he will do it back with this funny look on his face. (More on that one to come, with pictures, even.) Who would have thought that eating lunch could be so much fun and make you laugh so much. Moments like this make what I do so much fun and worth all the mess that comes with the job. As often as I want to strangle one or more of them, these moments of spontaneous joy are far more frequent. Life is far from boring around here, and it is also far from miserable. Sure, we have bumps and frustrations and bad days, but who doesn't. I am so lucky to have my insane, happy, healthy, loving little boys. Thanks little hooligans for making me smile.

UPDATE: They are now smearing PB around and Michael is growling at his try. Jerry is even starting to have a hard time breathing from laughing so hard. Add some squeals of laughter and delight to the mix and you have one entertaining lunch.

Birthday Biker Boy

Jerry had a birthday, shout HOORAY!!

OK, so he had a birthday over 3 months ago and I am just now getting around to it. At least he won't be able to say his mother didn't love him and neglected his birthday.

He wanted a Spiderman birthday with red cupcakes. Nice! Easy! Sounds good to me. We did red velvet cupcakes with whipped vanilla frosting. Super easy and super yummy. I want one now, just thinking about it. Then we put Spiderman decorations on top that Tyler was sent on a mission to find while out running errands. Cakes are fun to decorate, but easy is nice too. Aunt Amanda came home for the grand occasion and Sunday dinner was a regular party.

I love the action shot with his cheeks all puffed out! The pictures are still making my hungry for one of those cupcakes.

Michael has one of those looks that I can't decide if he is trying to say "Who, me?" or "I want more, pretty please." He definitely enjoyed it. And the floor even got some cake. The single sock cracks me up every time.

Ah, the loot. Aunt Amanda found a Lightning McQueen flashlight and cell phone for Jerry. The flashlight had (note the past tense here) little caps to put on the end and it put pictures on where you were pointing. He kept taking it apart and eventually lost pieces. Several pieces we later found in the wall, along with some caps. I had McQueen on the roof of the van or the walls for a week after he got them. The phone has been washed several times and still works. He likes to put it in his pocket, but forgets to take it out. Oh well.
And now for the big box. He had to work hard to get this one open. It was a motorcycle from mom and dad. Now he can be just like daddy. Too bad we didn't realize it was a little involved to put together. He ended up waiting a few days for it to be completed.
And on the bike. Yes, my child wears heels to ride the bike. Good news, that isn't the usual attire. It is not uncommon to see him in pants, jacket, Thomas's bike helmet (McQueen, of course), and cowboy boots. He wears all his safety gear, just like daddy. He wants so much to be like daddy, Tyler shared one of his motorcycle decal stickers with Jerry and put it on the bike. Talk about exciting!

Jerry rides his bike everywhere, no kidding! "Jerry, go put this in the recycling," and he rides out into the garage to put it away. He answers the door, comes to dinner, cleans his room, everything on the bike. I think this one was a hit. Even more fun now is Michael loves to ride it. He gets on and makes the "vroom vroom" in his throat. I do believe we have several biker boys in the making. Thank goodness they are learning at an early age to be safe about it, mostly.

Happy Birthday Jerry! We love you bunches and have so much fun watching you grow! Next year I will try to post closer to your birthday. Try being the key word on that one.

Hungry?

Sorry folks, no pictures this time.

If you listen to my kids, you would think they are starving and never get fed. If you hang around my house, you soon realize that I am in serious trouble once we hit the teenage years.

These boys eat. A lot. Often. Strange things.

Michael, for example. Michael seems to have some odd deficiencies in his diet. Namely, rubber, chalk, and wax. The funny little baby will eat shoe soles. He takes his shoes off in the car in order to eat them. At Christmas, he was thrilled with cousin Adam's new bike. He walked right over and started gnawing away. I think we found a new use for used tires. And no, he is not teething. He also loves chalk. We have a bucket of sidewalk chalk in the garage. Any time the door opens, he makes a run for the garage and starts chomping chunks off. Crayons hide very high up in our house too. Not just to keep them off walls or out of the dryer, but to keep them out of diapers. Let's just say it looks like a confetti bomb went off with many diaper changes. He also likes to eat pencils and erasers and wipes. Strange kid.

Jerry must have a paint deficiency. The other night he bit the widow sil and peeled the paint off. What on earth posses this child to do these things? He also scales the pantry shelves. The other day he climbed up to the top shelf, (above my head, mind you) opened up a box of hidden goodies, snuck a cupcake, and hid in the dining room. I heard plastic crinkle and investigated and found the happy boy. He sneaks cookies, granola bars, bread, animal crackers, cheese slices, and anything else he can find (leftover lemon pepper chicken from dinner last night as I type this). He even climbed on top of the fridge (while the sitter was here too) to get cereal. Yesterday, he bit off the end of a banana, peel and all. The other night, while I was upstairs getting Michael's jammas, he scaled the fridge, got a Diet Dr. Pepper of the top shelf, cracked it open, and started drinking it. (at least he took daddy's diet and not mommy's real stuff!) We have to keep the fridge and pantry locked to keep him out. Thomas sneaks treats too, but not as often.

Thomas eats, says he is full, then cries from starvation within an hour. How on earth a child can eat 6 chicken nuggets, veggies, a glass of milk and then want the same thing again so soon after is incredible to me. At dinner last Sunday, he ate 3 tacos, then dessert. It makes me hurt just to think about it. At least he eats a good variety of food. In the strange department, though, he likes BBQ sauce on his broccoli. Where on earth he came up with that one? I think the mac n cheese with ketchup is nasty, but the BBQ broccoli wins, hands down.

We also go through about 6 gallons of milk a week. I think I need to start saving now for groceries when they get older. I am in serious trouble. Maybe we will buy a cow. It has to be cheaper to feed the cow and make our own cheese and milk than to keep buying the insane amounts of dairy products they consume. Now accepting donations for future grocery purchases.

Gone Fishing

A couple months ago we had an interesting experience around here. The last time I went fishing, a catfish swam off with my fishing pole and my dad went swimming after the fish and pole. Needless to say, fishing is not on my list of fun things to do. This time, I went fishing in a different fashion.

I believe I mentioned a while ago that the boys put a hole in the wall. Well, that hole grew. It grew and it grew and it grew. It grew until it was a giant cavity in the face of the wall. Tyler patched the hole when it was relatively small. We were gone for the day, so he had a great opportunity to fix the mess, which he did. Unfortunately, the boys decided they liked the hole there and pushed the patch through and into the wall. They then proceeded to make the hole bigger. They also decided there are lots of fun things you can do with holes in the wall. There are so many fun things you can do, they decided they needed another hole to go with the original one.

And so our story begins.

Some of the weapons of choice... plastic knives. They also used a toy saw, pencils, and anything else they could think of. You can also see the nice patch work they pushed back through.The damage. Well, one of them. Tyler ended up cutting out the wall. You can see the other pieces in the background. In the end, a 2x4 was put in the wall behind the door knob to add some extra support. If they break through that one, we have some serious problems on our hands.

Now for the fun stuff, the loot!

I first sent fishing in the wall to get a turtle shell out of the wall. Something is definitely not right when the turtle shell is at the level of the door knob, yet inside the wall. That thing wasn't floating, there was plenty of stuff underneath to hold it up. Toilet paper, snuggle blanket (the original reason for going into the hole in the first place), and that was just with my hands. I could see more, so I went and got Tyler's little grabby tool thingie. Yes, that is the technical term for it, now leave me alone. A little flashlight and mirror became my buddies for the next little while. I pulled out a stuffed dog, another stuffed dog, several little people, little people cars, Thomas's belt that disappeared during Christmas break, hippo, sensory blocks, regular blocks, Clara Thomas train, snake, toy screwdriver, and other stuff I don't remember. I had my arm in the hole up to my elbow. I was covered in sheetrock dust.

On to the next hole in the wall to see what we could find. More Thomas trains, little soap crayon bathtub things, Thomas train canopy, insulation (oops), and... drumroll please... a lizard. Picture this... you are pulling things out of the wall, out of the hole comes a lizard head. Sudden shock and surprise, until you realize that the reason this head is coming out because you are pulling it out. You may now start laughing at yourself.

After an hour of fishing and killing the flashlight battery, I quit. I was frustrated, irritated, amazed, and dirty.

Fast forward. Tyler cuts out wall to fix the mess. I told him to put the loot into a box so I could see what actually came out that I couldn't reach. Here ya go, piled into a diaper box.

So, what was I unable to get out with my tool and patience?
11 blocks
7 little people
2 knives (hide the evidence)
2 train tracks
large water from Rescue Heroes fire truck
small water from mini version of Rescue Heroes fire truck
pacifier leash
2 train signs
toy wrench (wondered where that went)
2 nuts, the tool kind
1 bolt
car
fireman
blocks
magnet "z"
and of course, the original snuggle blanket that started it all

So, next time your kid's toys go missing... check in the wall. It's like finding a buried treasure.

Funny Words

Some funny sayings around here that I don't want to forget.

Thomas says "McDonald's has a play station!"
"Really? What are you talking about?" I ask.
"They have a slide and stuff to climb on... a play station"
NICE! Can we keep that concept for a long time? Probably not.

Jerry was in time out this morning. I hear a commotion coming from the corner.
"Michael... go away... I'm in trouble!"
Apparently Michael was trying to play with him or talk to him.

Jerry likes to watch Muffins.
You probably know them as The Muppets.

If you tell Michael to lay down and go to sleep, he lays down on the floor with his head down and bum up in the air. Then he starts to snore.

If you look at Michael and close your eyes and open them, he does it back, but with a cute look on his face.

Michael and Jerry love candy and sweets. Michael comes running over and opens his mouth up like a bird any time someone has treats. Jerry just does anything he can to get to the treats.

There are plenty more cute things, and more are sure to follow as I think of them.

I think the next post will be about fishing. Just wait, you don't want to miss this one.

Time Warp

So Tyler tells me I need to update the blog. This evening he informed me it has been about 6 weeks since the last post. What can I say, we have been busy. For the next little while, I am going to try and post like a fiend and get everybody all caught up.

Thomas celebrated the 100th day of school with a parade and other fun events centered around, you guessed it, 100. For the parade, all the kids wore hats with 100 of something on it. I thought beads on a hat would be easy. Tyler suggested 100 safety pins around the brim of a hat. Of course, most of what I do doesn't turn out right. I thought the hats had to be in on Friday... oops, they were supposed to be in on Thursday. Fortunately, we were able to get the hat done and to the school in time for the parade Friday morning. This was probably in the middle of some insane week where it was quite difficult to find time to get to a store. In the end, the hat took about 3 hours to get 100 beads stitched on. Yeah, should have listened to Tyler on that one. Oh well, he had fun with the hat and parade, so all was fine. All I had was tired fingers and less sleep. I imagine I have more of that to come with other school projects. The kids also like to play with the hat, still. Too bad one of them, different each time, likes to pull a bead as far as they can, so I then spend way too much time fixing the hat by pulling the yarn back through from the inside. Gee, I must be a great mom with too much time on my hands.


On a different note, we have had other adventures lately. Michael got tubes, again. Jerry created his usual messes and disasters. My dining room carpet was perfectly seasoned for the grill. The living room carpet should be free from headaches, muscle aches, fever, and inflammation for about 6-8 hours. Yes, the hooligan dumped grill seasoning in the dining room and Motrin in the living room. He also climbed up the shelves in the pantry, got into a storage box on the top shelf, pulled out a cupcake, and hid in the dining room eating it while I was on the phone doing something important enough that I wasn't paying constant attention to him. Tyler has his final exam in his math class on Wednesday. Thomas is doing great in school and is reading quite well. He loves school and has a great time and is learning more every day. I am still teaching and running around all over the place trying to do and be everything for everybody.

Keep checking back and following us through our time warp recap of the last few months. We still have to cover 2 birthdays, a beach trip, and other fun and exciting adventures and misadventures.