Disasters Galore

The boys have been a bit busy lately. Where shall I begin?

• Styrofoam blizzard in my dining room. They took my Disney Princess figurines out of the china hutch, and destroyed the molded styrofoam for my snow globes. Lucky for them, they didn't break any actual figurines.
• Jerry likes to take everything out of all the drawers and throw it all over the room.
  
• Jerry drinking 1/2 bottle Milk of Magnesia and the following mess. Thank goodness for spot cleaners, because he left evidence all over
• Digging a hole in the wall, pushing out the plaster patch TWICE, making the hole bigger, making the hole bigger, making the hole bigger again, and spraying sunscreen into the hole. Now we have to cut all the sheetrock out on both sides to prevent mold.
• Depositing toys into the hole in the wall
• Somehow getting the closet door off track
  
• Jerry broke two eggs in the fridge, again
• Jerry climbed up the inside of the fridge and fell out and took a shelf with him
• Thomas ate 20 Jr. Tylenol and spent a day in the ER and got to drink charcoal
• Jerry ate some of the roses for a wedding cake I am working on
• Both big boys tear off the blinds
• Drawer from the dresser now in 4 pieces
• Carvings on the top of the other dresser
• Jerry peed on the kitchen floor
• Toothpaste all over the beds, pillows, carpet, and window (after I had told Thomas to get the toothpaste out of the hallway and put it in the bathroom, yet it managed to end up in their bedroom)
• Scraping paint off the dressers
• Pushing the mattress and box spring off the bed and ripping off the fabric on the bottom of the box spring
• Pulling the mattress off the bed again, and again
• Sliding down the train table top while it is propped up against the bed
• Ripping off or out, still not sure which, the rails for the dresser drawers
  
• "Washing" the train table in their room, along with several stuffed animals, with bath soap crayons.
• "Washing" the train table again the next day
• CD in the VCR, I guess in an attempt to watch a DVD
  
• Jerry dumped water all over the van and himself from his water bottle
  
• Lots of cuts and scrapes from various sources, including running the closet door over toes

There are plenty other disasters, but they all start to run together, and when the next big one comes, I tend to forget some of the previous.
Poor Michael. Not that you can really tell, but he is covered in milk from his bottle. His hair is all wet and sticky and he had little drops of milk on his forehead. Dern if he wasn't cute like that too. While I cleaned up Jerry's overnight Milk of Magnesia mess, I asked Thomas to help Michael with his bottle. Thomas came in and told me Michael squirted the bottle on him. I went in to look and Michael was covered too. Then, later in the day, I discovered my carpet is crunchy from the milk.
The lovely sight that greeted me this morning.
Pudding mix, about 15 boxes, all over my floor and dining room furniture, in my candy making bottles, in my candy molds.
Pudding and water mix squirted all over the bathroom walls. I discovered this lovely mess when I went to the bathroom later.
And, of course, more evidence. Everybody knows pudding mix is a great sink cleaner.

If you can't tell, things around here have been a bit of a nightmare. My house is more destroyed by the day. Any suggestions, other than duct taping them all to the wall? As usual, I hope I will laugh at this later, but for now it is just irritating. Maybe you can get a laugh until I do.