Have You Ever...?

Been a while, I know. Been a bit busy around our house. Trip to the beach, time with lots of family, meeting new family, more doctor appointments than I have fingers and toes, starting school again, new students, and now home enhancements.

Every day I seem to find myself saying "I never thought I would...." Most of these are directly related to the hooligans. Most have my just hanging my head or walking out of the room until I can figure out how on earth to manage this new misadventure.
Have you ever been grateful to know that rubbing alcohol quickly and easily takes pretty pictures off the bodies of three little hooligans...



We won't mention the arms, legs, belly button, bum or other unmentionable parts that were also colored.

Have you ever cleaned ice cream or sherbet off the floor. The same bedroom floor on multiple occasions?

Have you ever cleaned the stuffing from a cat costume tail out of the space where the handle of the vacuum is supposed to slide down into the vacuum for easier storage? And then also found a toothbrush in said vacuum handle storage space thing?


Have you ever walked into a bedroom only to discover that your 4 year old decided that under the window is a good place to pee? Nevermind the bathroom that is only 10 steps away.

Have you ever scraped the popcorn off your ceiling? Have you ever cut holes into your ceiling? Have you ever eaten two plates full of mac n cheese and 3 hot dogs for dinner? Have you ever had your leg fall asleep while you are writing a blog post?

What on earth does tomorrow have in store for us?

Have You Ever Wondered...

I meant to post this last night. Oh well.

Have you ever wondered what happens when your kids get up before you do?

They will help themselves to the chocolate cake that is sitting on the counter. They will eat it in the living room and get crumbs all over the carpet. They will turn on the TV and watch cartoons when they both know they are not allowed to watch TV. They may have had some grapes too.

While doing all this they will leave you alone and let you sleep until 8:30.

Let them eat cake! And then give the baby a cupcake for breakfast when he wakes up, because it is only fair.

Have you ever wondered what happens when a wet diaper gets thrown up at the ceiling?

Wonder no more. I even have pictures to answer the question.

Yes, while I was teaching and they were supposedly having naps and quiet time, the older hooligans trashed their room. They also came down and interrupted my lesson, but that is another issue. Dress ups everywhere, toy box from one end of the room to the other. And an exploded diaper all over the room. Ceiling, floor, stuck to the dresser and window, on the window sill... everywhere. Lucky for someone, who I am not exactly sure, I forgot to change the vacuum bag the day before.

I am not sure if I prefer this kind of exploded diaper or the blowout kind of exploded diaper. I do know I prefer neither.

The evidence, after toys and dress ups were already cleaned up.



Have you ever wondered what happens to hooligans like this at the end of the day?

After several time outs and dinner they were sent upstairs for bed. The house was entirely too quiet. Hooligans and silence can't be a good thing.

Maybe it can.

My fabulous husband called me upstairs when he went up to investigate. Oh dear, what have they done now?!?! I look in the room and see two sweet, not so little hooligans curled up in their bed, under the covers, snoring. Not even five minutes and they were both out cold at 6:30.

Have you ever wondered what it feels like to want to strangle your hooligans and give them away one minute and just stand and watch their angelic and awe inspiring countenance the next?

Come to my house and find out. I promise, it won't be boring, and it will definitely be worth it.

What to Write?

I am trying to post every day. Sometimes that is much easier said than done. Yes, I have past posts to get on here still, but I just shut down my computer that has the pictures on it.

Today...

I tried to do something fun for the kids for lunch. I cut up fun stuff like apples and bananas and cheese and hot dogs. I put it all into a muffin pan. In theory, the kids would think it was fun and exciting. In reality, they ate most of it. They put ketchup on apples, cheese on bananas, and all sorts of odd and gross combinations. Then they started launching it across the kitchen. Maybe it wasn't such a good idea.

On a fun note, I have a double jogger. I inherited it and can't wait to try it out. Maybe I can even get back into running again. When I put Jerry in it and asked if he liked it, he said NO. Tough turkey kid, you have to ride in it anyway.

Thomas had Flat Stanley for school over fall break. I'll explain later. We got fun pictures of Stanley doing various activities and Lolly even took him on a road trip. I sent the pictures to Target to get them printed and my fabulous husband was going to pick them up. When he went to get them, they were nowhere to be found. Turns out the online hosting site is having issues. Sorry Thomas, you have to wait 24-48 hours to get your pictures.

Happy Monday!

How Was Your Morning?

My hooligans were so good this morning. They were playing and laughing in their room and having fun. It was a great morning.

WRONG

I went in to let them downstairs for breakfast and discover a nightmare.

Chocolate footprints all over the floor. A pint of Chocolate Cookies and Cream ice cream partially eaten and partially melted next to the closet. Sticky door knob. Two very guilty hooligans.

It seems that Jerry snuck downstairs and got my ice cream and a spoon. He then took them upstairs and began to eat. And everyone knows that ice cream is better on your TOES. Yes, he stuck his TOES in the ice cream. Then he pranced his little self all around the room. Moms just love to find chocolate footprints all over the room. We live for it, don't you know?

A side view of the little prints and spills. There were more all around the room, but this was definitely the point of origin. Can you see the little toes. Wait, I see some hand prints too.

Do you have a carpet cleaner? If not, you should invest. My little scrubber has revived many a carpet.

An hour into cleaning most of the prints were gone. All that remained was the worst of it. My knees were soaking wet.

I just love cleaning carpets first thing in the morning.

Poor little Michael got the short end of the stick too. I couldn't let him out of his bed because I knew he would add more little footprints to the scene. So he sat in his bed yelling "Maaamaaaa" over and over.
In the end, I think I won. After almost 2 hours. There is one little spot left in the picture, but I killed that one with some Spot Shot soon after. I used almost an entire bottle of cleaner and made countless trips to the bathroom to dump out the nasty chocolate/cleaner mix or to refill the cleaner dispenser.

Don't you just love my little carpet cleaner? The not-so-baby is quite the nice touch to the cleaning process as well. Just look at those legs. Once I turn the cleaner on he can't get away fast enough.

If you look really close, you can see the purple sharks still on the wall.

Not only did I have to clean up the mess, but I had to try and fix my little cleaner. Somehow something got stuck in the spray line. It came out, but only a little at a time. I was shooting cleaner all over the floor. There was no telling which direction the spray was going to go. Yeah, just a bit frustrated with that one.

I still have my two older children. My carpet survived another disaster. I have more ice cream in the freezer. I smell like carpet cleaner. My knees are still wet. My bum is soaked from sitting on the wet carpet. I didn't get breakfast. My children are forbidden from entering the kitchen for the rest of their lives. I have a headache.

Maybe I will banish my children to tents in the back yard. Then it won't matter if they prance around with chocolate ice cream on their toes. Oh, wait, they would run into the street chasing a bug or the ice cream truck. No bugs, Jerry is afraid of them, but definitely the ice cream truck. Shhhh, don't tell Child Protective Services about my tent city and chain gang children in the back yard.

Moral: Laughing children are just as dangerous as quiet children.

I wanted to use a brown font in honor of the chocolate ice cream, but it looked just a bit gross, so purple it is today.

Now, I will go and clean their stinky boy bathroom and do more laundry.

Call Me Alexander

Alexander had a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day.

Call me Alexander, or Alexandra if you will.

I finally slept pretty well last night. Until the alarm went off. Then a kid got up. Then I tried to go back to bed and snuggle with him. He didn't sit still, he didn't keep quiet, he didn't let me sleep. I nodded off a bit, then the phone rang. Forget it. I give up. Some days are just meant to be rough.

We went downstairs and had breakfast without major incident. The hooligans made a mess and didn't clean it up. I put them in their room so I could take a shower before we ventured out into the world.

Shower was great. I got dressed in my jeans that make me feel good, my rockin' Danskos that my fabulous husband surprised me with several months ago, and even dried my hair and brushed my teeth.

As I was going to the hooligan containment unit, I heard Thomas yelling "MOM, Jerry drew on the wall!"

GREAT! I just love when my kids draw on the walls with utensils that shouldn't be in their rooms. What fascinating surprise will I find this time?

The picture does not do the shark justice. The shark that Jerry supposedly drew is probably 7 feet long. From the door to the closet is shark. Purple shark. Jerry can't draw a stick figure. At this point, I draw better than Jerry, and that says a lot.

"Thomas, let's try this again. And this time, you will tell me the truth."

"I did it," came the pitiful wail.

Sorry bud, no sympathy here.

Then, I turn around to see this little guy on another wall.

Nice. He is kinda cute, though.

I turn to walk out the door while trying to not throw children out the door or sprout 3 heads and scream like a banshee. I see this master work of art on another wall.

LIVID! That doesn't even begin to describe me this morning.

Then, we head over for the previously blogged about Wal-mart trip.

This day really stinks. Big time.

I go to post Michael's birthday pictures and discover my memory card is missing. The living room is still a mess that the hooligans were supposed to take care of.

Time to teach a voice lesson. Send the hooligans to their room. Michael goes down for his nap like a little angel.

Near the end of the lesson Thomas brings me a bag and says "Jerry ate these."

I keep a bag of goodies in my purse. A handful of skittles, starburst, Hersey's kisses. It comes in handy when I need to bribe, I mean reward, my kids.

No rewards today. They had taken my purse up to their room. They ate almost all the goodies in my purse. They found fruit snacks in my purse that I keep for while we are sitting in the carpool line. Thomas took my chapstick, my good chapstick, and tried to clean the crayon off the walls.

I have no magic erasers because I used them all last week and ran out after cleaning the last disaster on the wall, thank you Michael. I have no magic erasers because Wal-mart really messed up my day and I didn't make it to Target to get the great deals on them that my coupons expire today.

Dinner is in the crock pot and will likely burn or not be cooked all the way. That is just what I predict. There is also probably a bill for $34,239,340.17 in my mailbox waiting for me. And I bet my phone will ring to tell me someone died and my fabulous husband was in a wreck and has lost his job. And I probably have an inoperable brain tumor and will need to have my left big toe amputated. And my ears will fall off and my teeth will rot out in my sleep. It is just one of those days.

I quite. I'm done. I am going to bed and not coming out until you can guarantee me it will be a better day.

Anybody want any kids? They are cute and loving and give great hugs. They have blue eyes and blond hair that will melt your heart. They are adventurous and creative. They are problem solvers and will keep you entertained. Both are potty trained and can scavenge their own food.

Hello, my name is Alexandra. I am having a horrible, terrible, no good, very bad day.

I will no go drink a Dr. Pepper and eat junk food.

Swimming in Syrup

Yes, you read that right. We went swimming in syrup this morning. Dinner last night was French Toast and I made enough to have leftovers for breakfast. Despite going to bed at some insanely late hour for a three year old, the little hooligan was up with the sun. I needed to jump in the rain room before heading out for the morning carpool run, so I set the older two hooligans down with their breakfast, made sure the pantry and fridge were locked, and headed up for a quick shower. By the time I got downstairs the little bugger had two plates covered with gigantic puddles of syrup, one piece of toast with the middle eaten out swimming in the syrup on one of the plates, a massive syrup puddle on the table that was dripping onto the floor, drips and puddles on a chair, and the floor. Half a bottle of syrup all over my kitchen. The pill pushed a chair over, climbed up, unlocked the pantry, scaled the shelves and got the syrup down. Nice discovery 10 minutes before you need to pull out of the driveway.

Since getting home the little two emptied a bookshelf, dumped out the toys, made a picnic in the living room, splashed the toilet water all over the bathroom, adjusted the radio in Baby's room, took apart the cheese slicer, lost a piece, and have somehow managed to survive.

I think I need a padlock on my pantry and a cage in my living room.

Gone Fishing

A couple months ago we had an interesting experience around here. The last time I went fishing, a catfish swam off with my fishing pole and my dad went swimming after the fish and pole. Needless to say, fishing is not on my list of fun things to do. This time, I went fishing in a different fashion.

I believe I mentioned a while ago that the boys put a hole in the wall. Well, that hole grew. It grew and it grew and it grew. It grew until it was a giant cavity in the face of the wall. Tyler patched the hole when it was relatively small. We were gone for the day, so he had a great opportunity to fix the mess, which he did. Unfortunately, the boys decided they liked the hole there and pushed the patch through and into the wall. They then proceeded to make the hole bigger. They also decided there are lots of fun things you can do with holes in the wall. There are so many fun things you can do, they decided they needed another hole to go with the original one.

And so our story begins.

Some of the weapons of choice... plastic knives. They also used a toy saw, pencils, and anything else they could think of. You can also see the nice patch work they pushed back through.The damage. Well, one of them. Tyler ended up cutting out the wall. You can see the other pieces in the background. In the end, a 2x4 was put in the wall behind the door knob to add some extra support. If they break through that one, we have some serious problems on our hands.

Now for the fun stuff, the loot!

I first sent fishing in the wall to get a turtle shell out of the wall. Something is definitely not right when the turtle shell is at the level of the door knob, yet inside the wall. That thing wasn't floating, there was plenty of stuff underneath to hold it up. Toilet paper, snuggle blanket (the original reason for going into the hole in the first place), and that was just with my hands. I could see more, so I went and got Tyler's little grabby tool thingie. Yes, that is the technical term for it, now leave me alone. A little flashlight and mirror became my buddies for the next little while. I pulled out a stuffed dog, another stuffed dog, several little people, little people cars, Thomas's belt that disappeared during Christmas break, hippo, sensory blocks, regular blocks, Clara Thomas train, snake, toy screwdriver, and other stuff I don't remember. I had my arm in the hole up to my elbow. I was covered in sheetrock dust.

On to the next hole in the wall to see what we could find. More Thomas trains, little soap crayon bathtub things, Thomas train canopy, insulation (oops), and... drumroll please... a lizard. Picture this... you are pulling things out of the wall, out of the hole comes a lizard head. Sudden shock and surprise, until you realize that the reason this head is coming out because you are pulling it out. You may now start laughing at yourself.

After an hour of fishing and killing the flashlight battery, I quit. I was frustrated, irritated, amazed, and dirty.

Fast forward. Tyler cuts out wall to fix the mess. I told him to put the loot into a box so I could see what actually came out that I couldn't reach. Here ya go, piled into a diaper box.

So, what was I unable to get out with my tool and patience?
11 blocks
7 little people
2 knives (hide the evidence)
2 train tracks
large water from Rescue Heroes fire truck
small water from mini version of Rescue Heroes fire truck
pacifier leash
2 train signs
toy wrench (wondered where that went)
2 nuts, the tool kind
1 bolt
car
fireman
blocks
magnet "z"
and of course, the original snuggle blanket that started it all

So, next time your kid's toys go missing... check in the wall. It's like finding a buried treasure.

Time Warp

So Tyler tells me I need to update the blog. This evening he informed me it has been about 6 weeks since the last post. What can I say, we have been busy. For the next little while, I am going to try and post like a fiend and get everybody all caught up.

Thomas celebrated the 100th day of school with a parade and other fun events centered around, you guessed it, 100. For the parade, all the kids wore hats with 100 of something on it. I thought beads on a hat would be easy. Tyler suggested 100 safety pins around the brim of a hat. Of course, most of what I do doesn't turn out right. I thought the hats had to be in on Friday... oops, they were supposed to be in on Thursday. Fortunately, we were able to get the hat done and to the school in time for the parade Friday morning. This was probably in the middle of some insane week where it was quite difficult to find time to get to a store. In the end, the hat took about 3 hours to get 100 beads stitched on. Yeah, should have listened to Tyler on that one. Oh well, he had fun with the hat and parade, so all was fine. All I had was tired fingers and less sleep. I imagine I have more of that to come with other school projects. The kids also like to play with the hat, still. Too bad one of them, different each time, likes to pull a bead as far as they can, so I then spend way too much time fixing the hat by pulling the yarn back through from the inside. Gee, I must be a great mom with too much time on my hands.


On a different note, we have had other adventures lately. Michael got tubes, again. Jerry created his usual messes and disasters. My dining room carpet was perfectly seasoned for the grill. The living room carpet should be free from headaches, muscle aches, fever, and inflammation for about 6-8 hours. Yes, the hooligan dumped grill seasoning in the dining room and Motrin in the living room. He also climbed up the shelves in the pantry, got into a storage box on the top shelf, pulled out a cupcake, and hid in the dining room eating it while I was on the phone doing something important enough that I wasn't paying constant attention to him. Tyler has his final exam in his math class on Wednesday. Thomas is doing great in school and is reading quite well. He loves school and has a great time and is learning more every day. I am still teaching and running around all over the place trying to do and be everything for everybody.

Keep checking back and following us through our time warp recap of the last few months. We still have to cover 2 birthdays, a beach trip, and other fun and exciting adventures and misadventures.

Life Lately

Life lately has been one thing after another. In addition to the usual antics around here, we have had the plagues. Rather than tell the whole annoying, boring story, I decided to cut and paste my facebook status and some of the comments the posting generated. Hopefully you all stay away from whatever was around here lately!

March 19: has two sick kids and a Jerry. What a fun day around here.
Rachel Coombs HolmesThe both have the cough, Michael has wheezing and the nose and no sleep (me no sleep either, thanks baby), and Thomas has a stomach bug type thing and a fever and just wants to sleep all day. Too bad I have to pack them all up and drag them to the doctor for Michael. (response to earlier comment)

March 20:entered the puking phase with Thomas this morning. At least Michael slept most of the night and just has a nasty viral cold.
Rachel Shill Beck The best part of your status...the two words "this morning." My kids always begin their puking about 11:45pm and continue all night long. Hang in there, it'll be over soon!
Rachel Coombs Holmes It seems to have been a one time thing. He has just been tired and fever mostly. He was up for 3 hours, then went back to sleep going on 2 1/2 hours now. Better them than me. I can take care of them, nobody around to take care of me.

March 22: just cleaned dirt and lots of pollen off Michael's fingers and face and mouth and TEETH. He had fun playing on the window sill.

March 22: banishes all bugs and viruses from the premises. You are trespassing... LEAVE NOW!!!
Dare Wyrick Peed don't forget to hang garlic over the doorway! ;) Hope everyone is feeling better soon.

March 23: went to the doctor today. Check my page for the verdict.
Rachel Coombs Holmes Nevermind, new facebook won't let me post on my own wall. After our 1 1/2 hour visit to the doctor we have 3 children and 6 ears attached to said children. Also, there is one ear missing a tube.

Problem: 4 infected ears (two of which are draining), 3 viral infections with fevers and occasional vomiting attached as well as various sore body parts... Read More, 1 sinus infection. There should be a "2" something. Nevermind, we'll just skip the "2" in this count.
Solution: 2 kids on Omnicef, 1 kid on Amoxicillin, two kids on ear drops The missing tube kid gets antibiotic and drops, one Rx for each ear. 10 days and we should be back to normal. I think I have forgotten what normal is like around here. I can't wait to see how they all react to the antibiotics, lucky me!

Kristen Jarrell Barnett Sheesh. Hope the antibiotics kick in soon. Go eat a piece a chocolate. :)
Rachel Coombs Holmes I ate 3 twinkies and I'm drinking a Dr Pepper! Shhhhh, don't tell anyone.
Alida Lee Mmm twinkies!

March 24: had crappy not sleep last night and is already having one of those days. Great!

March 24: cannot do this anymore. Kids for sale. I'll pay you.
Malinda Coombs I think I still have my kids 4 sale sign.....need it?
Allyn Sandridge having a bad day?

March 24: was sick and left rehearsal early, only to be greeted by children sleeping on the floor after one puked on the freshly cleaned bed.

March 25: wonders why Jerry pooped in Michael's bed first thing this morning. Is it only Wednesday?

March 25: still has a disaster on the wall, even after 30 min scrubbing and 1.5 Magic Erasers. If I color the wall with white crayon will it cover the mess?
Alida Lee Just put a frame around it and call it "art".
Lindsey Dean Brogli perfect place to hang a huge photo of the family...

Rachel Coombs Holmes at 2:11pm March 25

I could put a life size picture and it would cover it, but they would break anything I put there. Jerry is a destruction crew all in one little body. To make it better, I scrubbed through the drywall in a couple places. And, it's their new room. I'm crossing my fingers Tyler doesn't notice, yeah right!

March 26: can't believe we now get to add pink eye to the list.

March 27:wishes her big boy Thomas a Happy 6th Birthday! Now stop growing up.

March 28: needs to decorate a cake for tomorrow's birthday dinner. And laundry, and mop, and bathtubs, and get kids ready for church tomorrow, and plan music....

March 30: might be rid of the 7 plagues around here. After another round of pink eye the end might be in sight. Don't say it too loud, though, sometimes the man in charge has a twisted sense of humor.

3 more days of antibiotics, then their little systems should be back to normal again soon. Thank goodness for pull-ups! Almost there!!! (response to previous comments.)

OK, so I can laugh a little bit now. Thanks for the comments and encouragement. We all survived this far. Hopefully we can stay healthy and keep improving.

Room for Improvement

Monday was a nightmare. Tuesday and Wednesday have not been much better. At least they haven't been worse.

Let's see.... Tuesday. Morning student had to reschedule, no biggie. Jerry was his usual make me crazy 3 year old self. Michael has an ear infection. My children were hooligans while I was trying to teach. I never made it to the gym. Jerry flooded the upstairs bathroom.

I was on the phone with insurance, a headache in itself, when I heard hysterical laughter and the toilet lid slamming. This could not be good, I knew it. Before I was finished on the phone I could hear Michael screaming from the top of the stairs. By the time I got off the phone and upstairs there was a sight to behold. Michael was soaking wet from head to toe, Jerry had no clothes on, and there was standing water in my bathroom. *Run for the towels* and step on soaking wet carpet. Irritation is a mild word for how I felt at the moment. The rascal had taken a tub toy and scooped water out of the toilet and dumped it on Michael, the bathroom floor, the bedroom floor, and the hallway. As I was trying to contain the mess, Michael walked into the bathroom. Well, he tried to. Grippy feet on pajamas don't help much when an inch of water is covering the floor. Down he went, and none too happy about it either. Eventually everybody got dry clothes on and the disaster got cleaned up. Hey, it could have been worse.

I also went "fishing," but you will have to wait until the next post to hear about that one.

Wednesday brought the pleasure of two more nasty ear infections, Jerry this time. We also had red juice on the floor, banana smashed on the kitchen floor while I was teaching, sneaking food, temper tantrums, very busy bodies, no nape and minimal nap, a motorcycle thrown at Michael by Jerry, and ruined dinner.

Ah, dinner. I had great plans for dinner. We had leftover makings for chicken cream cheese enchiladas that I put together. The oven was pre-heated and ready to go. All I had to do was put the dish in the oven. Then, of course, disaster strikes, in the form of a 3 year old. Jerry decided it was a good idea to flip the lock over to "lock" for the self-clean cycle on the oven. With my oven, I don't know about yours, this is a problem. I tried to turn the oven off for a few minutes and then back on. Nope, the cleaning light kept blinking. Maybe if I just set the temperature it will cook anyway. Wishful thinking. Finally I went up to find the instruction manual. While searching the hooligans went nuts doing who knows what. Poor Tyler was trying to finish his homework, so their antics were less than appreciated. Children were quickly banished to their room to play until dinner was ready. Finally I found the information I was looking for. Not good. In order for the oven to reset after turning off the self clean cycle, it has to cool completely. No time for that, Tyler has class in 45 minutes. I kept trying to turn the oven back on, hoping it would think the temperature was low enough to reset. No such luck. While banished in their room, Jerry threw his motorcycle, a ride on toy, and hit Michael. I give up. Tyler ended up with leftovers and made it out the door for class in time. I even got his lecture notes printed for him. Maybe he will want dinner when he gets home. Yeah, probably not. Another wasted effort and lost attempt at getting something right.

Go ahead, laugh at our misadventures. Smile and say "I am so glad it is her and not me!" Share some story that is worse than this one. Let me laugh at your misfortunes, please. Post on your blog and tell me to go read it.

Eventually we will laugh, but for now I just want to quit. Tomorrow is going to be better. It has to be. I can't take many more of these days. One more and I just might run away and not come back.

Mondays, UGH

Mondays are no fun. Neither are mornings. Combine the two and you are asking for disaster in my world.

Yesterday started with no hot water. I had to take Jerry to Duke University for a study he was taking part in, so I kind of needed a shower before leaving for carpool. I am not one to enjoy a cold shower or find it invigorating. In the end, I shoved my head under the faucet and had a chilly hair washing session. As a result of the water incident, we ended up a bit behind schedule, only a minute or two, so not too bad. The kids had a pop tart morning for the sake of my sanity. Unfortunately, as we were walking out the door, little Michael dropped his in the garage. I didn't realize the "breakfast" had hit the floor, I stepped on it, and almost fell. Pick up the pieces, send Thomas back inside to grab another and we are out the door and on our way.

Wait, hold that thought, we are out the door, but far from on out way. As I was putting Michael in his seat, I noticed the seat belt was slack. Strange. I pulled on it to tighten it and the entire belt came through the seat. JERRY!!!! The little stinker had unbuckled Michael's seat at some point. Do you know how hard it is to re-buckle a seat with a child buckled in it already? Not easy, at all. Poor Michael got a bit squished in the ordeal.

By now, we are really running late. I told Thomas to hold Michael's pop tart until we got to pick up carpool, then to give it to Michael. As we pulled in the driveway I asked Thomas where the pop tart was. He held up 1/3 of a tart. The pill totally ignored what I said and ate his brother's breakfast. On the way to school Thomas and one of the girls got into it... again. That is another issue that I need to deal with. Those two seem to love to irritate each other. Of course, we can't forget the big sign on the mom mobile that says "please cut me off, drive slow, or do other irritating things, but especially drive slow... the slower the better."

The traffic report says there is a nasty backup on the freeway. Great. Wait, some good news?!?! My fabulous husband called and told me how to get around the mess. It worked and we had no trouble, other than the u-turn due to a missed turn. We also had computer issues, blog issues, and kids not eating dinner issues. Oh yeah, and I totally forgot that I had to take Tyler to class because I had to go to the store while he was gone and needed the mom mobile.

By the end of the day I was about to lose it. So, what do children do when mom is barely hanging on?!?! They push her over the edge, of course.

We had milkshakes earlier in the afternoon and Jerry didn't finish his. I put it in the freezer and he just got it whenever he wanted. Slight problem, when Jerry opens the fridge or freezer, Michael pulls out anything he sees. So, next thing I know there is a glass bottle of Soy Sauce hitting my floor. No breakage, thank goodness. Put everything back in and repeat several more times. Now we have 3 poopy boys (possible stomach bug coming on, great) to add to the mix. I just love poopy underwear, don't you? All kids clean, time to go to the store. Oh, wait, nevermind. Time to clean ice cream out of little boy HAIR. While I was helping Thomas clean up, the other two played with milkshakes and thought it would be fun to drip onto the floor or in each other's hair. Run over with wipes and we are out the door. Shopping at BJ's with 3 boys, so much fun (no sarcasm here, ever)!!! Potty stop for Jerry at BJ's. Problem, what do I do with the other two hooligans? "Thomas, stand here with Michael while I go help Jerry." Piddle, piddle in the potty, wash hands, out the door.... YES, they are both still standing there waiting for me.

I treated myself to Chick-fil-a and a gigantic Dr Pepper. The we put on a DVD in the mom mobile and headed to pick up daddy from school. I never do this around town, the DVD is for travel only, but desperate times and mommy's sanity called for breaking the rule this time. More disasters once we got home, including sick tummys and lots of laundry. Can't forget cleaning the kitchen, cleaning the bathroom, staying away from the broken bathroom, laundry, and not having a meltdown.

I don't know about you, but Mondays are just not my friend. It has to get better from here. I certainly don't want to know how it can get worse, that's for sure! I hope your Mondays are better than mine was. Off to deal with a nearly as rough Tuesday. LUCKY ME!!!

Disasters Galore

The boys have been a bit busy lately. Where shall I begin?

• Styrofoam blizzard in my dining room. They took my Disney Princess figurines out of the china hutch, and destroyed the molded styrofoam for my snow globes. Lucky for them, they didn't break any actual figurines.
• Jerry likes to take everything out of all the drawers and throw it all over the room.
  
• Jerry drinking 1/2 bottle Milk of Magnesia and the following mess. Thank goodness for spot cleaners, because he left evidence all over
• Digging a hole in the wall, pushing out the plaster patch TWICE, making the hole bigger, making the hole bigger, making the hole bigger again, and spraying sunscreen into the hole. Now we have to cut all the sheetrock out on both sides to prevent mold.
• Depositing toys into the hole in the wall
• Somehow getting the closet door off track
  
• Jerry broke two eggs in the fridge, again
• Jerry climbed up the inside of the fridge and fell out and took a shelf with him
• Thomas ate 20 Jr. Tylenol and spent a day in the ER and got to drink charcoal
• Jerry ate some of the roses for a wedding cake I am working on
• Both big boys tear off the blinds
• Drawer from the dresser now in 4 pieces
• Carvings on the top of the other dresser
• Jerry peed on the kitchen floor
• Toothpaste all over the beds, pillows, carpet, and window (after I had told Thomas to get the toothpaste out of the hallway and put it in the bathroom, yet it managed to end up in their bedroom)
• Scraping paint off the dressers
• Pushing the mattress and box spring off the bed and ripping off the fabric on the bottom of the box spring
• Pulling the mattress off the bed again, and again
• Sliding down the train table top while it is propped up against the bed
• Ripping off or out, still not sure which, the rails for the dresser drawers
  
• "Washing" the train table in their room, along with several stuffed animals, with bath soap crayons.
• "Washing" the train table again the next day
• CD in the VCR, I guess in an attempt to watch a DVD
  
• Jerry dumped water all over the van and himself from his water bottle
  
• Lots of cuts and scrapes from various sources, including running the closet door over toes

There are plenty other disasters, but they all start to run together, and when the next big one comes, I tend to forget some of the previous.
Poor Michael. Not that you can really tell, but he is covered in milk from his bottle. His hair is all wet and sticky and he had little drops of milk on his forehead. Dern if he wasn't cute like that too. While I cleaned up Jerry's overnight Milk of Magnesia mess, I asked Thomas to help Michael with his bottle. Thomas came in and told me Michael squirted the bottle on him. I went in to look and Michael was covered too. Then, later in the day, I discovered my carpet is crunchy from the milk.
The lovely sight that greeted me this morning.
Pudding mix, about 15 boxes, all over my floor and dining room furniture, in my candy making bottles, in my candy molds.
Pudding and water mix squirted all over the bathroom walls. I discovered this lovely mess when I went to the bathroom later.
And, of course, more evidence. Everybody knows pudding mix is a great sink cleaner.

If you can't tell, things around here have been a bit of a nightmare. My house is more destroyed by the day. Any suggestions, other than duct taping them all to the wall? As usual, I hope I will laugh at this later, but for now it is just irritating. Maybe you can get a laugh until I do.

War Paint

Sunday seems to be a bad day in our house. Especially if it involves a nap for me. *SIGH* Jerry is a mess, in so many ways. Yes, he put mascara on his eye. Yes, he put eyeliner on his cheek. Yes, he has foundation and mascara in his hair. Yes, it was all over my carpet and couches. No, I didn't take pictures of the carpet and couches. No, it still isn't all out. I also have foundation on my door from when he was in time out and rubbed his head on the door. Yes, that bag of Tostitos ended up on the floor too. At least it was an easy vacuum fix. I should be glad I don't keep my lipstick in with the rest of my makeup. Oh, wait, a couple weeks ago he colored the carpet with lipstick. Nevermind. Does he look upset, no, the stinker smiled for the camera. He is lucky he is cute. Cute is what keeps him alive sometimes. (Little funny... in swim lessons today, he looked like he got punched in the face. He still had mascara on his lashes and it was running and smearing around his eye. Serves him right? Nope, it was just cute, dangit.)

Stay tuned for whatever the child does next.

Scrambled Eggs

Father's Day morning was fantastic. I dragged my sorry, sleepy behind out of bed and made the requested French Toast. Tyler got cards from everybody and seemed to enjoy the morning. We all ate, got ready for church, got out the door, and were at church the regular 10 minutes early. I also noticed that many other families arrived at their usual times, unlike on Mother's Day. Just an observation. After we got home, we all went down for naps. Sort of...

Lie down in my nice comfy bed
Michael starts fussing
Feed Michael
Put Michael down
Michael screams
Give up and go to the guest room with Michael so Tyler can get a good nap
Fall asleep for a little while
"Mommy! Jerry is in the eggs"

Oh dear, let the adventure begin. I could only imagine what I was about to walk into. Jerry had cracked about 8 eggs on the counter, which dripped down the front of the cabinets and onto the floor. ( Maybe we should have bought more eggs last night, even though we had almost 2 dozen) After a bit of losing my cool and sending a screaming child to bed (again), I cleaned up the mess. Then I discovered the scissors on the table. The the freezie pop melted all over the table and chair. Then I remembered the chocolate lollipops I had made and put in the fridge. What did I find, you might ask? Someone, not sure who, forgot to lock the fridge. Yes, the fridge and pantry have to stay locked at all times thanks to Jerry. Damage: one completely eaten, 3 partially eaten, 1 with teeth marks. So much for giving those away. Well, what would you think if someone gave you a partially eaten pop or one with teeth marks? "Gee, um, thanks?"

No, no pictures of that one. My temper was too close to exploding this time. Not to worry, all children involved survived. I even had enough lollipops left for what I intended.

My House is NOT a Cake

The following photos may disturb some of you. I was quite disturbed, to say the least. After much screaming and yelling and putting everybody in time out, including myself, we started to get things under control. I scrubbed, Tyler scrubbed. The kids still looked like easter eggs for several days, and the carpet still has a pink hue to it in a couple places. This would qualify as one of those days when you wonder "why did I even get out of bed this morning?!?!"

The disaster in the living room that greeted me one morning

Fabulous art work on the couches

The remains of what was once a cabinet holding all my cake decorating stuff. Jerry managed to pull the entire cabinet down and break it. You can also see the coloring gel all over the carpet.

The contents of the cabinet

My carpet, before lots of scrubbing. And, please note the light blue spot on the bottom right. NO, that is not cake coloring, that is dawn dish detergent.Jerry looking pitiful in time out
Thomas showing off his colorful self

A New Post is in Order

Life around here.... in a word, normal. Here is a quick rundown to get you all up to date on life around the Holmes Home.

• Thomas is in an opera
• Michael is trying to crawl
• Jerry is still into everything
• Thomas and Jerry painted my house, including the couch and carpet and themselves with cake decorating color gels (black, red, brown, and other dark colors)
• Thomas digs hole in wall
• Jerry gets stuck on window sill (and I leave him there with his arm stuck through the blinds as an "I told you so")
• Thomas was accepted into East Wake Academy, a charter school around here
• Jerry flooded the kitchen and counters and cabinets
• Aunt Amanda graduated from Meredith, hooray for another Meredith grad
  
• Uncle Bradford graduated from NCSU, we are secretly cheering on the inside
  
• Michael has a tooth
• We all went to Cleveland for cousin Nate's baptism, Uncle Doug's dental school graduation, and Uncle Doug's promotion to Captain in the USAF (Wahoo and huge congrats to both of them, we are all so proud we could pop)
• Thomas and Michael threw up in the car, after Jerry threw up on the carpet earlier in the day, and after Jerry had an exploded diaper in his bed, including on Teddy Bear
  
• Jerry took nose dives across the pavement and ended up with a nasty elbow, twice, once for each elbow on two different occasions
  
• Jerry threw the power source for my keyboard and broke Thomas's toe, and gave him a nasty toenail to boot
• Jerry fell out of bed at the hotel and got rug burns on his head
• Jerry fell out of bed at home and got a big bruise and bump on his head
• Tyler is doing very well at his job and has several clients who request him by name for service calls, even if the job is 3 hours away
• Rachel is keeping everything going while putting together a recital for my students

There ya have it. We're all just plugging along one day at a time. Gee, when I put it that way, life sounds pretty boring. Oh well, I guess I will just have to come up with a way to spice things up in the future. Sorry to bore you with our simple, average lives.

Shameless plug: Come see my piano and voice students do a recital. June 16, 7:00 at the Meredith concert hall in the music building. Call for more info.

Dinner Disasters

We trade Sunday dinner back and forth with my mom. We get a nice dinner each week, and only have to cook and clean up half the time. It is a great system, and we look forward to our dinners. Unfortunately, I have bad luck lately. I know how to cook, and I can pull off a decent mean, thank you very much. I did Thanksgiving and Christmas all by myself (mostly) and they were great. Apparently, I used up all my allotted "good dinner" stars on those meals.

Dinner for Jerry's birthday was, well, a disaster. Besides him being sick, nothing came out right. The biscuits were over cooked, the grits were dry and gritty, the hash brown burned to the bottom of the pan, and I forgot to cook the bacon. Tyler rescued us with scrambled eggs. Jerry was too sick for cake, so that sat out for several days. By the time we got to it, it was dry and not what a red velvet cake should be. Even the frosting messed up, and I decorate cakes for cryin' out loud.

This past week, disaster knocked on the door again. Aunt Susan Jane was coming to join in the fun and I was looking forward to a nice dinner. I planned turkey breast, stuffing, gravy, corn, and brownies for dessert. The turkey didn't thaw, so I called to push dinner back a little while. The stuffing was fine, or so I heard. The gravy was too salty (packaged gravy that came with the turkey, so that one isn't my fault). The corn was fine. The turkey cooked 1/3 of the way, in 2 hours, mind you. Turkey went back in the oven and Tyler saved us with pancakes. Pancakes, stuffing, gravy, and corn. What a Sunday dinner. Oh yeah, and since the turkey went back in the oven, the brownies didn't happen. When we were eating leftovers the other night, part of the turkey STILL wasn't cooked all the way, after 3 hours of cooking.

It seems my kitchen is cursed. Let's cross our fingers that the birthday cake for this weekend turns out right.

Moms are NOT Allowed to Take Showers

I attempted to take a shower this morning. Actually, with the shower, there was no attempt, I took a shower. Granted it was after feeding Michael, again, after I first tried to get in the shower. Luckily, this time, it was the second time that was a charm, not the third. However, while trying to get all the puke and snot off of me and get out the knots from my kids "fixing" my hair, and trying to clean the tub while I was in there (killing two birds with one stone) I got that feeling.

Just to make sure all was well, I put on my robe, towel on head, and went downstairs to check on Thomas and Jerry before getting dressed. MISTAKE! I should have at least gotten dressed before venturing into the unknown.

And what to my wondering eyes should appear... no, not eight tiny reindeer, those were last month (never saw them then anyway). There was a chair at the sink, with Jerry perched on top. This I could see from the bottom of the stairs. And he was eating his toothpaste, straight out of the tube. Rounding the corner into the kitchen revealed to me the next horror. A bag of pretzels, all over the floor. They were not just resting on the floor, the boys, probably Jerry more than Thomas, had done a happy dance all over them. Yes, I had tiny bits and crumbs of what used to be pretzels all over my floor. Instead of coming 'round the chimney, I was coming 'round the counter to strangle Jerry. STOP, don't fall on the WATER all over the floor. Somehow the buggers had turned on the water, flooded the top of the counter, soaked anything on the counter on both sides of the sink, and flooded the floor about 12 inches out from the sink. And let's not forget that toothpaste yet. In the process of eating it, he had squeezed it out all over the tube itself. Into the trash with that one. No patience to deal with it.

Now, get your over-active imaginations rolling. Picture me, in my robe, with towel on head, trying to clean all this up. Thomas was trying to sop up the mess before I came down, and had a towel that looked like he had just pulled it out of an unfinished cycle of the washing machine. It dripped when he picked it up. When I picked it up to squeeze out some of the pool, I barely had to try to have a stream running into the sink. Jerry was promptly sent up to his room so he couldn't "help" clean up. Next thing I hear is little Jerry feet running into my room. I scream up to him to get out of my room and into his. Thud, thud, thud go the feet again. Sound direction tells me he is heading out of my bathroom and into my room, then on to his room. SLAM the door (his new game is to slam the door repeatedly and laugh like it is the funniest thing he has ever done). That was it for me. I went running up the stairs, in my robe, towel streaming behind my head, and all but threw the kid in his bed. I didn't even give him his pacifier.

Now I sit and type and vent. Still in my robe, but the towel fell off my head. The pretzels are swept into a pile, waiting to get put into the trash. The wet towels are piled in the middle of the kitchen, waiting to go up to the washing machine. (Note to self: don't forget the laundry detergent this time, the third trip to the store) Jerry finally gave up and fell asleep, I think.

Moral of the story: Don't try to take a shower when only the baby is asleep. Wait until there is another adult present, or until at least the two youngest are asleep. You may stink all day, but your sanity will be more in tact when your friend brings her four kids over later in the afternoon.

Climbing the Walls

This is one of those days. Jerry is all but climbing the walls, and I am ready to follow suit. Of course Thomas wants whatever Jerry has, and Jerry isn't so good in the sharing department. Result... lots of tears and tantrums. I feel like a referee. Jerry has also learned to push the chairs to get what he wants. I have found him in the sink about to break my dishes, erasing my white board calendar and drawing on it (where he found a marker I'm not sure), trying to get water out of the fridge dispenser (I locked it after his first successful attempt today), standing inside the fridge getting food, in the dishwasher, and the list goes on. This morning Thomas got into the pantry, used a chair, put a stool on the chair, and got the package of Starburst that was hiding on the top shelf. I can barely reach that shelf on my tip toes except to put the foil up at the front.

I was also reminded why I hate going to the doctor. Yes, I took all three with me. Yes, all three made it home. Michael is doing great. We saw the same doctor that we saw every other day when he was born, and she was so excited to see him. His head and length (23.5 inches) are right on track. His weight, 12 lbs 5 oz, is a huge jump from last time. The doctor said he just proved to her that even babies with lots of trouble in the beginning can jump way up and surprise you. She was floored that he rolls over, until he did it for her. She says his motor skills are advanced and he is going to be crawling and walking early at this rate. I am afraid of early since Thomas and Jerry both walked at 10 months. On a sad note, Jerry has two ear infections, one with pus on his ear drum. Good news is the tubes have it draining out and down the side of his face, but it is still bad. One more of these and they are sending us back to the ENT to check the tubes and possibly get another set. Right on target for one of my kids. At least if we do another set I won't be in the hospital having a baby the same day. Small blessings.

Now that I have vented, I feel better. My kids may make me nuts, but they are good kids. I am lucky to have them and blessed that they are happy and healthy enough to make me crazy. Even when I am ready to quit, I can still be grateful for the blessing they are. The smiles and random hugs and kisses make everything better.

Not that this is new, but don't plan on a family Christmas letter. Not going to happen again this year. Maybe we will go for an Easter letter. That way you can all be surprised by one letter in the middle of the year, rather than ours getting lost in the midst of all the other letters that come at Christmas. Yeah, that's my plan, that's the real reason I don't send one out. Not that I am busy, or a slacker, or a procrastinator. No, I just have a different plan. I also have "some ocean front property in Arizona" and "if you'll buy that, I'll throw the Golden Gate in too."

Some days are a Roller Coaster

It has been one of those days. Good and bad all rolled into one.

I didn't have to make Tyler's lunch today, which was great! It was even better since I hardly slept last night thanks to a poor little baby who couldn't breathe. The boys were sweet, for a while. Soon they decided to take a turn. Thomas helped himself to two bananas. What he ate was fine, it was the fact that he did it without asking, then hid the last one from Jerry and didn't want to tell me where it was. Thomas ended up in time out for I can't remember what. While there he decided to kick the door and throw a fit. Nice. When I told him he had lost TV for the rest of the day, for something else, he threw a toy bin and nailed me in the head. Good thing my head was blocking the way to Michael. After a nice trip to his room that involved lots of screaming and fit throwing, we had a talk.

Here is a really neat idea if you are having any issues with your kids. When I was a nasty teen I blew it in a major way and got caught by mom. To earn her trust back I had to earn beans. Every time I did something that showed she could trust me, I got beans in a bucket. If I did something that would lose her trust, beans came out. Once the bucket was full, in theory, I had earned her trust again. Go figure, it became such a habit to do things to earn her trust that we both forgot about the beans and I did it without the reward. We are applying this concept to Thomas. We have been having a hard time with good choices and telling the truth. Now he has a bean bucket and two kids of beans, one for truth and one for good choices. This seems to be doing the trick, so far.

Unfortunately, this evening Jerry was at it. He took my drink, but I caught him before major damage occurred. Potty break, never good in our house. While in the bathroom, Jerry dumped Dr Pepper all over the carpet. Thomas pooped in his underwear. Thomas went into the bathroom. Underwear around 4 year old ankles means poop smeared all around the outside of the toilet bowl, plus the seat from his little bum. Let me tell you how much fun that was! Early bed time were in order, for all of our sakes. I went in the room to get jammas on Jerry, bad idea. Jerry had not only emptied Thomas's dresser a few days ago (still waiting to be re-folded and put away), but he also emptied his drawers. Let me just say I do not like folding laundry. As much as I don't like it, Jerry seems to enjoy emptying drawers. I put it off until it can't be any more, then do a marathon folding binge. I had to go hide in my room, and of course Michael started screaming from below.

Now, here I sit, venting to cyber world and those few who are interested enough to read about my plights and misadventures. Two big boys are in bed, Michael is screaming to be fed again, Tyler is out working on the poor truck again (3 engines, 2 months, and 1 ridiculous amount of money now). I think I deserve a fudge round and another Dr Pepper, don't you? Either that or a meltdown. Maybe both...

Sweet moments
Thomas let me take a nap this afternoon. He played quietly and didn't create any trouble or disasters. He didn't even wake up Jerry.
Jerry gives Michael his pacifier. As soon as Michael starts to cry, Jerry is on his way to the rescue. Funny part is, after a few tries, if Michael doesn't take hold, Jerry just looks at me, then drops the pacifier in Michael's lap. Oh well, he tried.
Michael snuggled and took a nap with me this afternoon. Babies are sweet.

Go figure... the power flashed several times near the end of this posting. Good thing Blogger saves as you go, otherwise I could have really deserved a meltdown. Happy Monday to me, yipee.